Commencing this post with being thankful-so thanks to all those people who had me in mind and sent me emails/texts/phone calls regarding potential Shidduchim.
The purpose of this post is to try and explain why, sometimes when people are kind enough to think of me in terms of Shidduchim, it's sorta pains me that they aren't willing to do just a wee bit more to find out about the potential guy (like if it's at all shayach for me!) before they call me with the name.
Case in point. Someone I was in touch with years back and who had my resume, spread the word about me looking for a Shidduch and managed to get an answer from a random shadchan across the globe. The random shadchan had an older single, in the same height range as me, who was a frum, nice boy. Both this shadchan and the woman with my information exchanged emails and found out they knew a common person, Shuly, who was friends with me. They approached Shuly and asked her about the Shidduch.
So poor Shuly, who is friends with me and knows nothing of these people (besides for relatives of relatives), let alone the guy, approached me and asked what I thought. There was no resume and only a few lines describing the guy. No formal breakdown or description. There were no references to help me out and basically I was to rely on this random Shadchan and just say yes.
Well, I have a skirt, he wears pants-we're both short and frum, so older singles, so what have we got to lose right?
But, 'nice frum guy' just doesn't cut it anymore. Everyone is nice, whether you know them well or brushed past them at the airport. The meaning of 'frumkeit' differs to each person. The only thing I can rely on right now is that he's a guy. and who even can confirm that he is actually single?!?!
So ya, we're gonna have to find a better reason for romance, aside from the skirt & pants!