Thursday, August 7, 2014

Photo Fraud

Photos. Full length, close up. Family, individual. I was a hater. I was anti. I believed it was a total farce. After all, I spent the past few years fighting the 'photo system', then eventually giving in. Each time I gave in and sent my photo, I never heard back. I felt like I was 'donating' my images to some single guy's brag book. What was the point? Do the guys collect and share? Are there some photos that are worth more?
How dare they ask for a photo without even getting information? If they weren't interested, what was the shame in saying no?
All those thoughts would cross my mind each time the request came in from the shadchan, 'the boy wants to see a photo before moving forward'. I would cringe, and I believe my parents would cringe more when the request came to them, knowing how I would respond when they asked me.
But now, times have changed, I have moved on and am learning that sometime photos indeed ARE a good things. Facebook, instagram, LinkedIn=all these sites have enabled me to avoid dating some boys which clearly can be seen to be totally NOT shayach. So yes, I slow was turned to see the benefit of photos. Especially, as I was the one spending the money, time and effort to travel in to see the boys. The photo-finding has been very helpful.
Until yesterday.
I was redd a guy and all the information seemed pretty decent. The information sent to me, included a photo which was ooookkkkaaaayyyy (duh! I'm not expecting some supermodel hot dude!). But when the guy showed up at my door, I was totally confused. He did resemble anything close to the image provided. First, my father thought it may be someone collecting for Yeshiva. Then my mother thought maybe it was a father of a kid on our street. Yet, as shocked as I was, I smiled politely and went along. 
When I got home I didn't know how to tell the shadchan that the photo and the boy were NOTHING alike. Could it be he sent in a photo of his cousin, friend, or workmate? Perhaps
Could it be a photo he took at a wedding he attended when he was in high school? maybe
All I can say is that we were talking about two VERY different looking guys.
This experience now has caused me a new-found Shidduch paranoia=Photo Fraud!


  1. I was also a hater. "Can I have a picture?" Gave a picture. "Do you have another picture?" Gave another picture. "You look different in these two pictures. Do you have another picture?" Kishmich.

    Pictures have been very useful in terms of Facebook, because guys apparently think that girls don't know about Facebook, or something. (Bermuda shorts, shudder).

    I still get annoyed at a picture request - dude, do what girls do, and look me up online. Yeesh, is that so hard?

    Feel ya with the "Who's that at the door?" situation. One guy was photo-shopped to the hilt.

    1. Bah! Everyone knows there are no real girls on the internet :P

  2. Photo fraud is a real mystery to me. What does it get you, one date with a person who will resent you and not go out