I'm sure everyone here knows about this situation...
y'know, when your family sorta gets involved in your personal life
and by personal I mean, dating life, i.e. shidduchim
and by getting involved I mean, butting in and making sure that every other family member knows that they are getting 'involved'
Well, being that I've been 'on the market' for quite a few years now, I've had my share of family members get 'involved'. The ones who tried to 'redd' me shidduchim, the ones who just wanna know why I look really good the one day they bump into me, the ones who want to know why I came to their party one hour late (doesn't anyone do fashionably late these days?) and the ones who are called by people looking into me...Yes, I've been there and done that so many times that I feel like I don't even have a personal life anymore. My dating life is now everyone's business, especially family. After all, how can I insult my older aunts/uncles/cousins, and even if they only wanna know what is happening with me and make it sound as if they have someone in mind, which I know is not the case-I still have to acquiesce to their requests and thirst for knowledge of the life of a single girl.
But recently this went a bit overboard. Yes, so many times I have my frustrations, and it gets stickier when its family, but this one took the cake. My aunt, bless her heart and soul, had an idea for me. Oh-sorry, apparently, her married daughter had an idea for me. BUT-instead of actually calling/texting/emailing me directly, this married daughter called her mother to tell her about this idea (and then there were 2 involved) and her mother, who also coulda spoken to me, called my parents to let them know that she had emailed me the profile of the boy involved. I got the profile and it sounded, well, to be honest, really i-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g, as in weird. I decided to not just judge based on text and to look into things, but there was no actual info on the profile, so I called my married cousin and asked her to send me the actual basic info. She did. Then my aunt took over, driving me crazy, calling, coming over, asking why I wasn't moving on it. She called my house to say that she read the profile and she would jump on a guy like that (creepy...) and why I am delaying...So, I informed her I was trying to find out basic factual information as things didn't match up. In any case, the next thing I knew, she called my grandparents-and, well, as all great meaning grandparents who just wanna see us married-they called the house (and then there were 4!) to ask why I wasn't going ahead. I called a friend of a friend of mine, who happens to be friends with said guy, and confirmed that indeed, I was right, and basic facts didn't match up. This friend said she would get all the correct info and let me know. In the interim, a week went by where the phone went nuts. I was literally going out of my mind-and this was only cuz I didn't wanna say no based on a really weird profile.
Lucky for me, said friend called back to tell me the actual info which was totally NOT what I was looking for, and which, according to the info, was a straight out lie-which was even more upsetting. So I let my aunt know, that politely I decline to continue further because of such and such information which I found from a reliable source, and which is an outright lie according to the profile. Then the entire thing blew up (yet again!) (and then there were like 7-10!) and everyone went ballistic, cuz as long as its a guy, who cares about everything else.
To put it short-I gotta find a nice way to tell my family that YES, I DO wanna get married, but not to any random guy who sends his info-to a guy that I'm interested in, someone with the Middos that I'm looking for and who is honest and upfront in providing said info.