Wednesday, March 21, 2012


So, I'm a lucky gal (I guess) in the sense that I am short-to average height. I have a friend who is nearly 6 foot and when she goes on a date, the guy has to be taller.
Lucky for me, I'm not that picky, as I have only once been on a date with a guy shorter and that was really short, so I don't really care about height-after all, someone is gonna have to help me reach those high places in the kitchen and closets.
perk: I get to wear any shoes I like, from comfy ballet flats, to wedges, platforms and heels. I don't have to get my shoes 'cut' from 4 inches to 3. I don't havta be signed away to flats for life, I can be comfy when I choose and wear whatever heels I like for whatever occasion.
The thing is, I didn't really think anyone cared. Obviously there's this 'stigma' about a guy being taller than a girl. Makes sense, but i know quite a few couples who are either of equal height or the woman is taller (hence the black hat for the male is useful).
Anyhoo, the last I heard of this issue was a few weeks back, when my friend went out with this guy. She came back concerned that they were the same height (never mind the fact that she wears 4 inch heels...) but everything else about the date was ok. When she was finally convinced to let the height issue go (and after retail therapy and a brand new pair of 3 inch stilettos for the next date), the guy said no to her because of the height.
I didn't think this was ever an issue for guys, but I guess, being the same height as a girl is what? somewhat taking away from his masculinity?
I mean I can't be surprised, I know of a few guys who didn't even want to go out with me because they heard I wasn't 'tall enough' to their liking. Then again, I just thought it was another excuse, as I did go out with tall guys before.
so, my question for YOU guys, my fellow readers is: is height just an excuse or is it really an issue for men?


  1. I am near 6' too, and men want to kill me.

    I don't care about height, but I have had so many bad dates when guys were accusing me of putting myself on the rack that I made it now a criteria for the guy to be at least my height.

    Then again, guys like to think they are taller than they are (they are never the height they say they are.)

    Do guys care? In my experience, I can safely say they do.

    Except when they get older and then they think height is attractive. Except I can't wait around for when they get to that age.

  2. I'm 5'6. A guy just rejected solely based on the premise that he was 5'8 and I was "too tall."

  3. I'm 5' 9.5".

    When I was dating, I went out with a girl who was just shy of 5' and I was originally put off by the fact that we couldn't physically carry on a conversation when we were walking side-by-side en route to our date location. But once we sat down across from one another, I was able to get over the height difference. The height difference was not a factor in why she ended the shidduch.

    In another instance, the girl was 5' 9" and it semed like we were basically eye to eye, with her shoes added in. I can say going out with someone that tall compared to me was a little strange at first, but in the end it didn't bother me. I do, however, think it was one of the factors that led her to end things.

    Having said that, I've seen several very happily married couples where the wife is several inches taller than her husband, maybe 2-4. However, they have all been older and married with children, not anyone our age. I think WE, as the younger generation have taken the height difference to be a major red flag/stickler detail, moreso than our parents and grandparents.

    I think there is a famous story with Rav Aharon Kotler, who was told by his future father in law (and Rosh yeshiva) to stuff tissue into his shoes when he met his future wife. In the end, she decided that she knew he'd be figuratively taller than anyone through his learning, so it didn't matter if she was physically taller.

    As much as that story is another one of "those gedolim stories" I don't think the lesson conveyed is beyond our ability to contemplate and act upon.

  4. Adam, soon to be in BostonMarch 27, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    I have always been more attracted to women my height and taller. How much taller? At 5' 5.5" myself, I would not say no to six to eight inches taller. She might, but I wouldn't.