Monday, October 31, 2011

Sloppy Seconds

OK, my singledoms, I'm quite frustrated (again!)
Here's the deal:
There's me, the single out-of-town gal in Shidduchim, and there's my first cousin, who also shares the same last name, from the same town, who, even though is a few years my junior, is also in Shidduchim.
Now, although we share the same last name, the same family background and similar genes, and we're looking for the same type of guy, we're two very different girls! We don't look alike, we have different personalities, or what I like to refer to as 'me=the zany, she=the brainy' and we may share similar values, but again, are 2 separate beings.
Here's wherein the frustration lies.
Because our last name is uncommon and we're both from a small out-of-town town, and we're both looking for a guy in the same category, we often get 'redd' the same guys. B"H I'm close with my cousin and we share our dating stories, etc. and this is how we found out that we either were redd to the same or dated the same boys. But lately, what is happening is that a guy gets suggested for me and then decides that because we're the same age, he's not interested, but then goes for my cousin, just because her age 'fits', so to speak. This happens because it goes through the same Shadchan. For example, 'Reuven Shimon' gets my profile, looks into me, the shadchan sings my praises but then he finds out that we're the same age, or really close in age and says no due to that fact alone. The Shadchan then says, he's such a great guy, and she has a cousin looking for the same type, but she's younger, maybe he'll go for the cousin, and then that's how the story goes.
So, ya, I'm frustrated because we are constantly being put together as the same person only with 2 different ages. my cousin is getting frustrated as she's only getting suggested to these boys because they think she's a younger version of me=she's getting my sloppy seconds, so to speak.
So, how do you think we can stop this from happening? Like I can't help what happens without my knowledge and what shadchans and/or other people say/suggest/email, but I guess as long as we have the same last name, the same hometown and same specs on the type of guy, it'll just keep happening, huh?

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