Monday, October 3, 2011

Any Answer is still an Answer!

I may have mentioned this before, so don't kill me if I somehow am repeating myself.
Here's the deal:
I've been 'redd' a few guys in the last couple of weeks and was asked, as well, to email my Shidduch resume, to which I quickly sent the info.
Days passed, weeks passed, and nothing happened.
At first, we called the people who 'redd' the shidduch, even though I KNOW that when you don't get an answer=the answer is NO, but sometimes people are just forgetful and not always on top of things and they need to be nudged.
So, I did my share of nudging. I HATE nudging, but we called, and we emailed and we left messages but NADA! Literally not a returned call, or anything.
Eventually, my mom ended up getting through to one of the people who never got back to us. Turns out, weeks later, the person who redd the shidduch gave some kinda indirect, sketchy response about the boy who he suggested just starting school and won't have time to date, etc.
Now, ladies & gents-do I care what the excuse is? No! In all of honesty, every excuse is just that=an excuse. Like the guy didn't know a few weeks prior that he signed up for school, or that he'd be too busy to date? If that was the case, why did he even request my info? He should've just told the shadchan, 'sorry dude, I'm starting courses and will not be available for dating for the next few weeks until the semester is over'.
So, I don't care about what excuse the person uses. The only thing I request of Shadchanim and people 'redd'ing (me) shidduchim is JUST TO GET BACK TO US SINGLES WHO ARE IN LIMBO once something is redd. Don't be embarrassed, ashamed, etc. if the other party says no and for whatever reason, but just PLEASE get back to them and let them know they can move on.
As far as I'm concerned, no one like hanging around waiting...


  1. This just happened to me. A guy i was speaking to on the phone for three weeks..after one date.disappeared with no trace. Such Fun!

  2. But also keep in mind, Surfin': often Shadchanim ask for one's info before suggesting you to the guy. Not playing by the rules, but it's the story of my life. I've probably e-mailed my info - I don't know, 50 times? - and never received any sort of response. Once they get your info, then the shadchan goes to the boy, who says, "Huh?" and then she has to be all awkward around you.

    In this case, I will blame the shadchanim who didn't go to the boy first.

  3. Its the worse, not hearing back. SO rude and inconsiderate. Im sorry :(