Saturday, September 11, 2010

It's the Small Things...

Coming out of Rosh Hashana just a few hours ago, we all are still on a higher spiritual level than a regular Motzei Shabbos during the year. That's because we spent the last 2 days davening, praying, with such fervor and Kavannah and asking Hashem to answer our prayers and to judge us favorably, etc.
Being single, this can be a difficult time. People say that singles might be depressed as once again, a new year has passed and they are still..well...they are still single. Others have moved on, got engaged, got married, had children B"H and we are still here. It can definitely be frustrating and people just lose their focus and concentrate on all the negative, i.e. 'look at what I went through this year...all those bad dates...all those 'almost' moments...all the phonecalls to shadchanim, all my hishtadlus calling people...all my Tefilos...and I'm still here...again!'
But, the way I see it (and I ain't one of those perky-happy-all-the-time people at all) we really have to look around and be thankful for those small things in life, which to some of us might seem small, but really are important things to be thankful for.
Let me give you an example: This week a friend of mine told me that she met this 19 year old who told her that 9 of her friends got engaged and were to be married within the next 3 months. Now, a few weeks later, there are only 3 girls who are getting married (6 broke their engagements).
So, look at the alternative(s), would someone C"V rather get engaged only to have a broken engagement, or still be single?
What about those singles who nebach, got married and then divorced shortly afterwards? Who do you think has it harder? us or them?
Or those couples who are happily married, and were not yet Blessed with children? Is that easy to go through?
So, I look around at friends of mine, the single girls, the girls with broken engagements, the divorced ones, the ones who don't yet have a child, etc. and see how thankful I am to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.
Obviously, Hashem gives us Nisyonos that He knows we can handle and we all have our different 'issues' so to speak, but look at how much we DO have. I deliver meals for Bikur Cholim and see the children/parents/grandparents in the hospital and it is truly sad. Look at how many gatherings there were this year to recite Tehillim.
B"H I am healthy, I have a beautiful family K'AH, I have a job, I have friends, I have opportunities to go to shiurim, to help out others, to partake in Chesed projects. So, I didn't find my bashert yet-but the best is yet to come! and we have to believe that and be thankful for what we DO have each and every day! Just look around at your community, friends, family, in Shul, look at the individual people, see what some of them have gone through/are going through (obviously you won't know everyone's issues) and be happy that you have so much going for you!
It's the Small things in life we have to be thankful for and appreciate!


  1. Well said.
    We don't always know the nisyonos of others, nor what they daven for.
    It's important to realize that if we are HEALTHY (along with other such "mundane" blessings) we are FAR ahead in the game.
    G'mar Tov.

  2. In order to put things into perspective, I tell myself that Hashem has blessed me with the BIG things in health, comfort, family, home, and income.

    By comparison, asking for a guy seems small. And the Eibishter set up this world that we should marry and have more little Jewlings. So that should not be something to panic over.

  3. It sounds like you have been dating longer than you wanted to, perhaps for a few years, but that you are still obviously relatively young. I hope you marry soon and don't continue to know this pain because it reaches very painful places as time passes.Ah Gutt Gbenchtt Yur.