Mama's Boys

As a sequel to my previous post, I think there should be another reality show, but for Frum Girls. In reality, nowadays if we would have a show about Shidduchim, the best part of the entire dating process would it 'Meeting the Future Mother-in-law (aka "MIL")'. Truth is, these days it seems that before even saying 'yes' to a suggested Shidduch, the guy's mom has to approve of the girl, the guy's mom has to see a pic of the girl, the guy's mom has to do all the research, and the guy's mom makes the decision if he goes out with her or not. Of course, I am not referring to all guys-Thank G-d, however, I AM referring to those very special boys who's moms do everything for them and we refer to them as "Mama's Boys". Yes, ladies and gentleman, I'm sure you're familiar with the term. Some of you may even be fortunate enough to have met some of these 'mama's boys' in person. What frustrates me though, are the guys who are already in the Shidduch Parsha for quite a while, and still can't seem to do anything without their moms getting involved. They don't do research, they don't make/take phonecalls, infact they don't even involve themselves in the entire process, other than actually taking the girl out on a date, and even that is only after their mom TELLS them to take the girl out. It's a bit sad actually. I mean, why bother involve these boys at all-might as well just go out with the mom (and THAT would make GREAT reality TV!) and who would want to go out with a guy's mom when she thinks that no one is good enough for her special little boy? So, people out there, viewers of national TV, America-are you listening? Some aspiring producer/director-here's a great idea for a reality TV show where its GIRL vs. MIL, grueling grilling, 20 questions, fashion faux pas' and what not? Tune in next week for "Mama's Boys" the sequel to "The Bachur" 9/8c on ABC.

“The Bachur.” The concept is the same:25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!

Hi all,
Got this email as a forward today...enjoy :)

Subject: “The Bachur.” The concept is the same:25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!

Do you love the idea of The Bachelor, but are too frum to watch it? Then you’ll love the new show, “The Bachur.” The concept is the same: 25 girls vying for the heart of one guy. The twist? They’re all frum!

Our Bachur this season is Avraham Yitzchak Greenbergsteinkowitz from the holy city of Coffeeneck . He has studied in some of the best yeshivas, is over 5’6” and is a lawyer, doctor AND an accountant. You might ask why such an exceptional Bachur would choose such an unusual method for meeting his bashert. “Well,” says the Bachur, “I have been dating for over 6 months now and still have not been able to find my bashert. After consulting with all 17 of my rabbeim, I felt that this intense approach would be the best way for me to do so.”

The creator of the show is none other than Perry Charshady, who is the mastermind behind other reality TV hits such as “I’m a Rebbe…Get Me Out of Here” and “So You Think You Can Shteig.”

=0 A“The premise of the show is the same as that of The Bachelor,” Charshady explains, “except with some minor differences to make it more appealing to a frum, heimishe, audience.” For example, the bachurettes will face-off with challenges such as the Challah Bake-Off. The bachurette with the worst tasting challah will be sent home. And who will be the judge of something so crucial to building a bayis neeman b’yisrael? “My Imma!” exclaims the Bachur. “She makes the best challah ever, so who better to judge?” Additionally, while on The Bachelor the bachelorettes go home to meet the guy’s family, our bachurettes will have to have a meeting with the Bachur’s favorite Rebbe.

And who are these bachurettes? Well, they are all no larger than a size 4 and went to Strict College for Women where they studied to be a therapist of any type. They also all come from wealthy homes in the Metropolitan area. “I just don’t feel comfortable with out-of-towners” The Bachur explains, “No one really knows what goes on in those places. At least where I’m from, everyone knows each others business so I can really get to know what a girl is like by asking, you know, her neighbors and kindergarten teachers about her.”

From the very first episode, it is clear that these girls are top-notch. After being the first bachurette to be sent home, Chana Shprintza Cohenbaumosky cries “How could he reject me? I mean, I went to NNI – the best seminary in all of Israel !” Later in the show, the second rejected bachurette sobs “Doesn’t he even know who my father is?!” But, not all the bachurettes are so sincerely committed to their seeming “Chesed Each Day” lifestyle. In one episode late in the
season, The Bachur gets his first big shock: “I don’t always wear tights,” confesses one bachurette.

Who is this shiksa posing as an accomplished bachurette? Is she the same one concealing the fact that she has Facebook? Or is more than one bachurette hiding a dark side? “It just bothers me when someone isn’t honest with me,” The Bachur says disappointedly. “I mean, if you talk to other boys or don’t have a white tablecloth on your shabbas table then clearly you’re not frum enough for me, and if you’re not frum enough to be here, then what are you even doing here?”

So what’s the next project for Charshady? A season of The Bachurette, per haps? “No,” says Charshady. “The Bachurette would be almost impossible to create.” Why? He explains: “This is a reality show and if we were to portray 25 buchrim trying to win over one girl, it would not be an accurate representation of reality.” He then adds “And, on a
technical note, the process of find ing 25 eligible buchrim would be an almost impossible feat.”

Well, this season promises to be one filled with scandals: bare legs, Facebook and even (gasp!) Law School ? “It’s always been a secret dream of mine,” reveals a teary-eyed bachurette. But, it also will be packed with fun: hotel lobbies and exotic trips to Chevron! And fear not, there will also be plenty of Tehillim said through bouts of sobbing.
So tune in every motzei shabbas!

The Webcam Experience

***Attention Out-of-Towners***
Tired of all that traveling in and out of NY for dates? Spending too many hours in the car/ on the bus/ on the train/ on the plane en-route to your destination city to meet your date? Losing too hours of sleep by traveling through the night? Spending too much money on the 'travel' part of the dating experience? Ever get the feeling that you spend more time staring at the highway/train tracks/cloudy sky then you do at your job? Feel like the out-of-town dating issue is bringing you down?
If you've answered yes to one or more of the questions above, then WebCam Dating is for you! With today's modern technology and the internet being so convenient, why not take advantage of the easy accessable, user friendly, messengers services and get to know someone without the hassle of traveling and wasting time.

I feel like this fake infomercial has been running on and on ever since my last few trips to NY, when my dates turned out to be a total waste of time. Yes, pathetic as it sounds, when you spend umpteen hours in a car/on a bus and there's nothing else to do but space out and stare at the windows, it really gets you thinking. Either I can play the date over again in my head and point out all the things that made it so awful, or I can try and see what can be done to make my next date easier and less disappointing. Well, for those of you who like to compete with 'well my date was the worst because...' try and top this one. The last time I went out with a guy, he was an out of towner currently living in NY and even though the Shadchan said he would travel to the city where I live, he had no idea of this and asked if I can come to NY to see him. So, me, being told (as usual) how a-M-A-Z-I-N-G this guy was and how he didn't 'just say yes' to most girls, drove down almost immediately. I got up at the crack of dawn and spent who knows how long in the car. By mid afternoon we met in NY and within 1/2 hour of meeting this guy-i knew he wasn't for me. To cut a long story short, about 2 hours later, I was back in a car, driving the long hours on the highway and made it home by late evening, annoyed, upset, albeit exhausted!
When I came home, a close friend of mine suggested why not make use of a webcam and sorta date a guy in the comfort of your own home, while being able to see him and converse in a chilled out atmosphere without having the hassle of traveling. That way it wouldn't upset either party and they both wouldn't havta waste time away from work/learning, etc. I thought it was a great idea. You don't even havta wear high heels! ok, all kidding aside, what do you think? would u give it a try?

Happy Tu B'Av!

In honor of Tu B'Av, I think the Frum world should have some kinda 'coming out' party for all singles and by that, I mean a serious debutante ball!! We read about it in books, we see it on tv, so why not EXPERIENCE IT!

Think about it! It's a great reason to splurge on a gorgeous gown (if you don't have any friends/cousins in the near future), get your hair/nails done, look STUNNING! feel good and at the same time, check out all the "available" guys lookin their best without feeling like your gawking, or staring. Almost like a wedding but without a Mechitza.

So except for the ballroom dancing together, it all works out very nicely. Who needs a wedding in order to check out the 'stock' and look good when you get to be a debutante?

Dating in the Dark

No, I did not come up with this title all by myself, it's from the new TV Show airing on ABC. So a friend of mine told me about this new show and I decided to see what its about (ok, the truth is, there is nothing playing on TV anymore, so just the thought of using the remote was tempting). Some 'brilliant' dude came up with this idea all on his own and turned it into a reality show. In short, there are 3 guys and 3 girls and they only date each other in a dark room where they can't see anything. The audience can view the dates because they use infrared cameras to capture in the dark. At the end, they can ask to see the guy/girl that most appealed to them and the spotlight shows that guy/girl for 30 seconds while the other guy/girl gets to see him in the dark, so the guy/girl in the spotlight can't see a reaction.

Umm, hello?!?! sounds a little familiar? ok, we don't have infrared cameras along with a filming crew coming on dates with us, but admit it=we're all in the dark. This is what blind dating is all about (unless you get setup with a neighbor, friend, or cousin), you get info, you call random numbers aka 'references' who always tell you nice things, then you go out and BAM-the spotlight shines down on your date-that first minute you see them before you leave on your actual date. Only, they can see your reaction. So whether you like them or not, or think they are seriously U-G-L-Y, you keep smiling and continue on...

Wonder who has it better, Frum Singles in Shidduchim or guests on Dating in the Dark?

stay tuned....

I'll Take Manners for $200, Alex

The other night I was chatting with a few friends and the discussion dwindled down to what else? Shidduchim. At first it started with fashion, then to clothes, then to shopping for clothes, then to dieting and working out to fit into the clothes and BAM! next thing I know its 2 hours later and dating stories are flying. One recurring theme that most of the dating stories had in common was "manners", or shall I say lack of.
Now, I just wanna state that this is not a statistic, nor am I claiming war on any 'sides' in particular, I'm just stating the facts as they were in these stories and being that we were all girls, most of the blame was on the (sorry in advance but-) guys.
So here's what I don't understand. These days there are families who bring up their children with the difference between right and wrong. Instilling in them Middos Tovos, how to behave, how to act like a true Torah Jew and above all, to always be a Mentch. Eventually the children grow up and go their own ways to Yeshiva/Seminary and come back as mature individuals ready to make a life of their own. So, WHERE ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Here are just a few examples of the guys that dated friends of mine (author included) and the lack of manerism on their part.
#1) Guy and Girl on date. Guy seems to be very good conversationalist, extremely friendly, funny, outgoing, has the looks, and everything going for him. Then he comes up with a typical NY line and while talking about all the girls in New York, he tells the girl "I can have a girl for breakfast, lunch and supper if I wanted to". Girl looks at guy and tells him, if that's what you want, then go for it and don't let me get in the way.
#2) Girl (from out of town) goes to NY to meet the Guy. They meet in Manhattan at night and have a nice date at one of the many hotels the city has to offer. Guy asks Girl how she is getting back to the airport (to fly back home). Girl laughs nervously and says, she is going to relative in Brooklyn and the relative will take her back. Guy asks how she is getting to Brooklyn, girl responds with you, I hope. Guy faces her seriously and tells her he doesn't have a car. Takes her (and her luggage) on the subway with him. On subway, tells Girl he will not get off at her stop, as people might recognize him and he doesn't want to be seen on date. Tells Girl when to get off subway. Girl walks alone, shlepping suitcase in Brooklyn to relatives house.
#3) Girl (out of town) travels to NY to meet said Guy. Guy takes girl to restaurant, busy the entire time with his smartphone, booking meetings, etc. Guy tells Girl he is so busy he barely has time to date, so he does in between meals, doesn't really eat, but still has a few minutes to chat. Guy drops Girl off 20 minutes later. Why even bother in the first place?

ok, so by now you probably got the point. I just don't get why some people can't be Mentchlech. There are probably some girls out there who do the same. I just don't understand it. I've been through some horrible dates and by horrible, I mean BAD, yet, I've been polite (I hope) with each person, and patient (waited out the 3-4 hour ones, even when I knew after 1 minute it wasn't for me) and haven't treated them badly or rudely. How come some people are just sooo outrightly rude and where are their mothers, who brag about having such wonderful young men? I'd like to have a chat with them!

3rd Time's A Charm?

About 2 or 3 years ago, around this time of year, it was a beautiful Friday afternoon and I was relaxing at home, taking in the wonderful smell of fresh challah in the oven. I clearly remember this day, not only because it was nice, sunny, with a fresh breeze, GORGEOUS, but because of the sound of the doorbell which changed things. When I got to the door, there was a 'yeshiva bochur', teenaged boy holding a kugel in his hands. Shyly, he mumbled something at the door, handed me the kugel and left. I didn't know what this was all about, I mean, I know the boy and his family, but we're not exactly family friends, nor do we swap kugels Erev Shabbos. As I bring the kugel into the house, I notice a 'Mazel Tov' written on a sticky on top of the foil. Not knowing what to think, I show my mom and then we realize, it was probably meant for our neighbor, whose daughter just got engaged. But there is no "TO:" listed on the sticky, nor is there a name. My mom called up the lady whose son brought the kugel and apologized but mentioned that perhaps the kugel was meant for the neighbor. The lady congratulated my mom and wished her a hearty Mazel Tov. She explained that she had just come back from vacation in Israel and heard I got engaged and she was soo happy that she wanted to send over a Kugel...err...umm...so, ya, I wasn't engaged. Not even close at the time! Poor woman was so embarassed when my mom broke the news to her. But I guess that's how rumors start.

Why am I telling you this? Simple.

This Friday night I was going for a stroll in the area when I meet a friend I haven't seen in years-literally! She comes down, smiling and we chat and catch up for a few minutes. Then she tells me that she met a little girl on the block who asked her if she knows my family. She said yes. The girl then asked her if she knows me, to which she replied-yes (we grew up together). The girl then smiles and tells her, good, because she is getting engaged. So here is my longlost friend and she is congratulating me and telling her parents. I'm soo confused and telling her this is not at all correct, when another neighbor walks over to my mother and congratulates her on her daughter's engagement, to which my mom looks at me questionably. I just shrugged.

Now, I always joke about how I'll be the last one to know I'm (getting) engaged, but seriously this is twice already....

Perhaps the third time round won't be a rumor...hopefully it'll be true and I'll actually KNOW the guy by then :)