Saturday, April 18, 2015

What's Your Hashkafa?

Being on the "market" for quite a while, I figured I got all the lingo and all that goes with it down pat. I know the routines, the unanswered calls to shadchans and their voicemails that tell you to not leave a message. 
I know that sometimes "he's busy now and just gave a yes" is a nice way to say he isn't interested.
I know that 95% of the time when a guy takes you home after a date and doesn't walk you to your home, it means he isn't interested. 
I also know the difference between 'Heimishe', 'comfortable', and 'Baalbek Batish'. 
What I'm still trying to figure out is the different hashkafos. It gets confusing as do people. Nowadays I have Sefardi friends who married chassidim, breslov who married lubavitch, baalei Teshuva who are greasier than lakewood learners. There is the guy that doesn't want a TV but flat-out stated to the shachan that in place of a TV, he would like to register to HULU (umm, excuse my ignorance on this one but isn't it the same thing?)
There's the guy who writes on his resume that he's very makpid and Frum and went to all the 'brand name frummie yeshivas' yet states explicitly he only wants a girl who wil cover her hair, elbows and knees-I assumed that was a given, especially for a Frum guy?
What about the one who learns each morning and attends a shiur at night, yet after a number of dates he casually slips in a joke about shomer negiah and makes fun of the whole concept, which opened up an entire can of worms, with me finding out he doesn't hold of it. A FRUM BOY WHO LEARNS-why would I even dream of asking that question to a reference?
Nowadays, I've learned that anything goes and that's ok. To each his own. It just adds to my confusion, my trust levels and now I feel stupid asking even the most obvious and sometimes awkward questions to references such as 'does he have any kids I don't know about?'
Thinking we need some new terms for all these new types of hashkafos. 
Any ideas?

1 comment:

  1. Says the girl who sees nothing wrong with commemorating Valentine's day and goyishe New Year's Eve.