Wednesday, May 22, 2013

The 'set up'

Here's what I don't get. I don't get the whole 'set up'. Now by that I don't mean to say being set up or setting someone up on a shidduch, I mean the whole fakeness to it. The lies, the pretending, the hiding information-it's all false. All the acting, etc after a while it begins to feel like I'm in a 70s familg show where everyone is walking around with smiles plastered on their  face and talking in their happy voices whilst they sit at the supper table together to discuss their days. 
Worst of all is the room set up or to be more specific-the table set up. 
Again, I reiterate that I'm an out of town girl from a laid back, chilled family. We are not fakers, we have nothing to hide (no our TVs are not kept in cupboards or called 'monitors') and pretty much act ourselves. Having said that, I will mention that before a boy comes to pick me up from home my mom still ensures that everything in the house is clean and neat and presentable. 
Going back to the whole 'set up' I'm reminded back to my early dating days, some of which were having a boy pick me up from New York. I remember my sister in law baking away, putting out tiered trays of goodies, setting out her Shabbos cutlery and folding the napkins all fancy. I thought all that effort was pointless-after all the guy is gonna only be in the home for a couple of minutes-he's not gonna sit down and eat 2 trays of rugelach, came, cookies and an entire fruit bowl. After the first few guys came to pick me up from her home I think she agreed. Imagine how much food would've gone to waste by now!
Point being there's a way to be presentable and kind without having to overdo the whole set up thing. It's a house, people live in it. There are families with kids in it, food being cooked, a baby crying, a phone ringing. These are normal everyday things I just don't get why people go so much out of their way to try and cover them up with expensive rentals/food/decor/set up. 

1 comment:

  1. We used to do that by my sister, but by me my parents are more broken in. I said the first time, "Don't bother," and they are happy with that.