Confession: I stereotype. I do. I believe in stereotypes and I just can't change that. People DO change, not everyone IS the same, but it's hard to convince me of that. Perhaps it's due to my dating experiences, or me being burnt-out by the shidduch-system, but I can't help that.
But, lucky for all you folks, I had a change of mind this past week.
It all started when I got invited to this 'official function' which was taking place. It was kind of a fancy affair, but not a black-tie event. It was held in a large official hall and I knew it would be a mixed crowd and I would probably be one of the only Jewish single girls there, so I kept a small handbag in one hand and my iPhone in the other (sure beats having nothing to hold and then explaining to almost every guy that I don't shake hands due to religious reasons!).
In any case, I tried to dress my best, look professional, appropriate, and tznius. I wore a nice outfit and smart shoes and held my head high, shoulders back, with a small dose of confidence to finish the look.
As I walked in, I couldn't help but notice the other women in the room. The skinny woman with her long black hair, her tight, and short, red suit and her 6 inch heels (no exaggeration), the tanned woman with her hair in long bottle curls, with just a shirt and long tanned legs with 4 inch strappy stilettos. So, perhaps I was lucky in the sense that all the men were busy taking in the beautiful women and no one would need to come over and make conversation or shake hands.
I walked over to the bar to get a drink and this guy, who happened to walk into the hall at the same time as me, AND who held the door for me as he let me walk in first, just happens to be at the bar as well. I smile and say hi and get ready to walk away with my drink when he notices the tanned woman-or shall I say her legs/shoes. I watch his eyes take her in and he turns to me and asks why I'm not wearing those 'type of shoes'. I wasn't sure what he was getting at, so I just turned around and said 'trust me, those heels have an expiration date-give her 2 hours and she'll be in her ballet flats'. The guy then shook his head, laughing and told me he just doesn't get it, what was she trying to do, what look was she going for? He actually didn't agree with her look and thought her to be ridiculous!
I was A-M-A-Z-E-D!!!
Here I thought, wow, these women have the place covered. They dress to impress, look to kill, have the body and legs any guy would salivate over and this guy wasn't impressed!?!?!? how could he, as a guy, NOT want that?!
Throughout the evening we kept talking, and it seemed he was just a decent, gentleman. Not married, early 20s, but not into the whole 'throw yourself in a guy's face type'. He was extremely polite and respectful of me (being Frum and all), and it was just a breathe of fresh air to know there are some decent guys out there. I just couldn't believe it coming from him, especially a young, single, energetic, non-J guy.
Thanks, Mr. Goy, for teaching me to put my stereotyping aside and still have faith!