Sunday, February 15, 2015

My Life at this point in Shidduchim...

If I had to sum up my life right now, I'd need enough of these t-shirts to last a good few months. 
Valentines Day has come and gone. I'm gonna sit here with my box of chocolates and eat them alone in the dark. No one sent me any cute/funny ecards or even chocolate. I know it sounds pathetic, but some small feminist part of me, sorta craves that only in the movies type of romancing-even though I know it's all fake.
Everyone likes to be noticed and appreciated at times, and I guess I'm sorta not feelin it right now.
My dating life has turned into a desert-desperate for rain. I just need ONE guy, ONE raindrop to give me some faith that there ARE indeed some normal single guys out there. The last few have been well...let's just say I wouldn't suggest them to any of my friends. 
Thanks to the blogging life, I know I'm not alone but it seems all too often I'm attending weddings, Sheva Brachos, vorts, etc. and I'm the only single at the event, which then makes me the 'nebach' of the night, hence becoming certain people's "mitzvah project".
It's just all-out awkward. I've tried numerous dating sites. I've emailed/texted Shadchanim. Heck, I even got access to a whole list of guys, yet after sorting through hundreds (yes, and I do mean hundreds) of profiles and checking off atleast 5-10 guys that sounded good. Each one either said no, or didn't get back, for the most oddest reasons. Am I insulted? No, I have enough confidence in myself and each person has their own reasons to say no, whether I believe they are legit or not. Is it upsetting that the guys I find normal aren't interested in me-ummm, ya!
So, can I buy all you single gals out there this shirt, so we can have a gals shidduch protest-it would definitely give us the attention we so deserve (wink, wink)


  1. I don't know any frum guys who celebrate Saint Valentine's day. Its Christian, and is a halachik issue (and this is from a guy who wears a ring). I got my wife no chocolates or anything. (I have gotten her chocolates randomly though.) Real romance is not like the movies though. Not even close. Nothing is. Not romance, not kissing, not conversations, not housework, not... tennis. The first few months of our marriage actually had some difficulties directly due to false impressions movies had given us. So just forget them. And yes, good guys are out there, and you know it. But perfect, romantic comedy guys? Nope, they don't exist.

  2. Giiiiirl, I hear you. The internet provides one with company, but in real life that is cold comfort. We do everything that people tell us to do. We call, we online, we send, we go places to be "seen." And yet "everyone" around us are settling down, while we feel forgotten.

    I came to this conclusion, and it truly gives me peace: It's not about the effort I put into it. People tell you that, nowadays, but it's not true. The Eibishter has His plan, and I can scream and bang and force as much as I have the energy to, but it won't change things. I've decided I would rather have no dates than bad dates, and that keeps me calmer.

    My mantra is: "Eibishter, I cannot find my bashert. That's up to You. I'm leaving it to You."