Sunday, February 8, 2015

Being Positive

Taking thing slowly, trying to see the good, and just smiling more. I've really been trying-you gotta understand. Which is why, when the whole 'taking a positive attitude' did me more harm than good.
You see, I was set up with a guy last week, the resume sounded great. I made some calls and for the first time in a really long time in my dating 'career', I was actually beginning to think like this guy was the one. Honest. I wasn't like planning baby names and such, but it was the fact that the references I spoke with described him as the exact, and I mean literally exact, type of guy I was looking for. It was as if, someone had prodded my brain and read my mind word for word about what I believe my future husband would be.
And if that didn't perk me up, I saw a photo and it all seemed to be too good to be true.
Which is where it all came boiling down. Suddenly, my whole 'positive attitude' melted away whilst I was thinking, if something is too good to be true-heck, it probably IS. I was coming up with reasons as to why someone as 'amazing' as this guy, who had every quality I was looking for (based on the info) would want to go out with me? An out-of-towner? someone on the shorter side? Someone who ain't a blond haired-blue eyes model. Perhaps there was a sudden underlying reason? And so began the thought process which commenced the 'mental' trip down positive drive to normalicy.
Eventually, I realized all these assumptions and thoughts would get me nowhere, and then I was back up there-in lala land with Mr. Perfect. I already texted my close friends about my date and asked for ideas about the second date. I was concerned that I would have to take off work (yet again) and already worked up an excuse as to my leave absence.
Then he showed up. I just knew. I could hear it in his voice and saw it in his mannerism. The guy was a total loss. Ya-he looked great, but so what? He was borderline rude, which isn't a compliment the first 2 minutes you meet a guy. He had the air as if he so-could-not-care-less. He did me the grand favor of taking me out on a 4 hour date. Yes-4 hours. and for what? He clearly wasn't interested, barely grumbled out a few words, with some random nods in between closing his eyes. Did he not realize it takes a girl an average of 1-2 hours to prep for a date? And that's just hair/makeup and choosing the right outfit. All that mental anguish. The convincing myself to be positive. Then being too positive, which led to the negative, and then pushing myself back into positivity-for this?!
I must say it was a let down. But even more so because I was sooo clearly convinced he was the one
Moral of the story: I should've just stayed my regular 'nothing to get excited about' self. That way I can never get let down-always expect it to be bad and then, if it ends up good=surprise happy ending :)


  1. I know a guy who dated an out of towner recently. After the Shadchan didn't pick him up at the airport, didn't supply him with a car as promised, treated him like garbage, having him show up to a house who didn't know he was staying there, wouldnt get back to him, etc., it didn't matter how wonderful the girl was, he was grumpy the whole time (and rightfully so) and didn't want to deal with the Shadchan again, even if the girl was nice.

  2. Um, FG, if the moral of the story is that it is okay for someone to take out their bad mood on the wrong person . . . I'm still not going to excuse him.

    As for you, my sweet, it is strictly coincidental that my post going up tomorrow is about just this. (It happened a few months ago and I had it scheduled for a few weeks already.) Hear you and feel you.

  3. Emotions are not easy to control. Sometimes someone can be grumpy, and it isn't their fault nor their usual mo. Are you saying you've never been annoyed before a date bc of something someone other than your date did, and your date suffered for it?

    1. Yes, I've been annoyed, but no, my date did not suffer for it. It's called suck it up.