What Makes him a "good" Chap

So there's this kind woman, who honestly, tries her best to help me out with Shidduchim. Every so often she sends me a résumé of a guy who is totally NOT for me in any way, shape or form. Then I feel all bad about letting her down for trying to help and laugh to myself as I get in touch with her to tell her plain and simple "nuh uh". 

Well, the same woman called me up yesterday with an idea. This time, though, she claimed that although she didn't know the boy or his family at all (as per her past suggestions), she had a "reason" as to why he would be a good "chap". 

The reason?

Not cuz of similar backgrounds, nope. (Not even Hungarian!)

Not in same age bracket. 

Not cuz of his job (don't even think he's currently employed)

And definitely not same hashkafa. 

In fact, said woman texted me to call her, which I did, so she could explain herself. The reason, she said, was because of his uber large family. She went on to say that over pesach she had met cousins of mine who married into families with 12+ kids and was thinking if they married into large families, then perhaps me, being distantly yet blood-related might be looking for the same thing. 

Well, that definitely goes into the books as being an excuse for a "relevent" match. 

Hey! And we're both single. 

Yikes, it freaks me out to know that my life is in the hands of people like this!

Post Pesach

I was gonna use this post to explain how pathetic it has become when all my "married" has-been friends/acquaintances/old classmates come home with their own mini families and we meet up somewhere in town. It gets all awkward because they don't know how to 'relate' to me. I'm the SAME ME that I was, nothing has changed, so why treat me like this oddly inhumane being that has only a title-"single". It's as if there is nothing to talk about, I mean I ask lotsa questions and mostly catch up on their family life, charging with their kids and sometime hubbies but then they have this pitiful look, as if they have nothing to talk about and just smile. 

THEN I read Frumanista's post and the rest of my Pesach, when not spent awkwardly meeting up with these folks was exactly as she describes here: 

http://frumanista.blogspot.ca/2014/04/aaaaandwere-back.html?m=1

I literally couldn't have put it better myself! Kudos frumanista

Six13-Chozen Pesach Song

AKA Pella Pesach Medley

play this whilst you're cleaning/preparing/cooking/baking

Mens Rules for Women

Perfectly Wrong

Being harassed is tiring and that's how I spent these last few days. This woman who claims to know me has been calling around. I know because my neighbors, friends and acquaintances have all told me she called them. That was before she called me. When I got the call, she introduced herself by saying we met briefly before (which I clearly don't recall) and let on to some kinda Jewish geography connection (small world...). Then she went on to tell me she had the "perfect" shidduch idea and asked for my email address so she can send me his bio. I provided this to her but was shocked when the email came in. Everything about the guy was exactly what I was NOT looking for. It's as if this was world's worse joke! 

I didn't know how to handle this, since I knew that this woman-the way she sounded so enthusiastic and excited when we first spoke, would NOT take well to my "no" to her suggestion. But honestly is best policy, right?

Before I even had the chance to call her, she had called me. Twice! And left a voicemail! When I called back and told her it wasn't shayach she didn't take it lightly, as I predicted. In fact she went ballistic. She was adamant that this guy was "THE ONE" although to can't even fathom as to her reasoning. 

So here I am, days later, still trying to convince her that yes, my answer is still "no". Still trying to figure out how if she doesn't even know me, why she believes he's perfect. Especially since he's nothing I'm looking for, not even remotely. 

Let's put it this way: how do I get the message across so that she can stop harassing me (and everyone else that knows me) for good??

How can I make her understand that it ain't gonna work AT ALL?

all suggestions will be taken seriously

*this is not an April fools joke* (although my shidduch life is beginning to feel like one right now)