Monday, August 12, 2013

Lesson in Elul

Here's a lesson I learned the hardway, and perhaps the reason for this (amongst others) is to publicize it and avoid future errors.
It happens all too many times-you say something about someone-and then it all goes wrong. Either it somehow gets back to that person, or the person you're saying it to is friends with/related to the person. Someone takes it the wrong way. Basically SOMEONE will end up getting hurt. Even if that's not what you intended to do.
The way it happened with me was, I was talking to a group of people. Someone brought up the topic of shidduchim (duh! it's like the only way people who don't know me, feel they can have a conversation with me) and I was talking about one of my dating experiences. "I once went out with this guy, he was sooo not mentchlechdik.....he didn't even take me home.....he dumped me at the curb...he was rude..I had to pay....etc" I was half-laughing whilst telling the story, as in retrospect, it was indeed an insanely funny dating story-I personally would've never believed it if I didn't actually experience it myself.
Lo & behold, one of the people in the group turned white and got quiet. I don't know if they heard the story from the actual guy, or if they just KNEW who it was, but mumbled something about him being an 'ok' guy and walked away.
ya-so now I gotta be careful about what I say, how I say it, who I say it to, and to basically keep in mind that whatever comes out of my mouth may be taken literally & may get back to the person I'm speaking about....
Maybe I'll just stick to blogging for now..


  1. "Meh" to keeping quiet.

    He may be an 'ok guy', but he is not your guy. So why worry about it getting back to him, in a case where you told a nameless story?

  2. Iyob, chapter 13, verse 5:
    Would that you kept silent, and it
    would be accounted as wisdom for you.

    :ה קוספ ,גי קרפ ,בויא ,ך“נת
    .המכחל םכל יהתו ,ןושירחת שרחה ןתי ימ

  3. The Hebrew in the previous comment
    printed backwards, please ignore it.

  4. Mishlei, Chapter 10, Verse 19:

    Where there is an abundance of words,
    sin does not cease; but he who withholds
    his lips is wise.

  5. new take on the Shidduch crisis