Saturday, December 10, 2011

The 'Drei-Kopp' Shadchan

So there's this shadchan who used to be big time into making shidduchim when I started dating, then eventually, other Shadchanim got more popular and this shadchan sorta faded into extinction.
Recently she called me up to let me know she was 'back in action' and by doing so, was getting more updated with time and even set herself up online with email. She asked me to send her my updated info.
I havta admit, when she called me, I was totally unprepared and my past dealings with this shadchan had really made me lose patients with her, she's the type to drive you up a wall, or as I like to say a 'drei kopp' with minor stupidities, etc. and doesn't get the hint even if you have a huge light up billboard in her face. So Basically, she then started asking me all these technical questions, which after a few minutes, I realized to understand, she didn't know how to use internet. I was beginning to get really frustrated and made some kinda excuse that I had to leave and promised to send my info.
Thank goodness she found a tutor, or maybe someone checked her emails and she received my resume. But no, folks, this was not good enough for her.
She emailed/called/left messages that my resume was not up to par with her standards. Yes-you heard me. After years of being in the system and on the market I had been told by numerous people/shadchanim/friends how to change my resume. Of course, there were those who thought it was really well-written and gave a totally clear picture as to who I was and my personality type. There were those who thought it was TMI (too much info) and asked me to keep it basic, etc.
This Shadchan took EACH word I had written and nitpicked at it. She criticized each and every word I used-literally. I sat and listened to her patiently, but that only lasted for the first 10 minutes. Honestly-I was ready to tell her to just leave me alone and that she was incompetent and that for the past few years I had been sending the same resume (updating my age with each coming year) and NO ONE seemed to have issues with it and I was set up with decent guys, contrary to what she believed I would be set up with-based on my resume. But I remained polite and found some kinda measly excuse to hang up the phone.
OK, so you think she would sorta get the hint, right?
Nopes, not this Shadchan
Again, she called me and informed me that the way I wrote it, again nit-picking the terms I used, was totally misleading and people would understand that I would need such-and-such type of guy which is clearly not what I was looking for, etc. seriously?! Yes, she was serious! So, I told her in a very kind manner, that this is how I wrote it. She came out and asked me straight if she can change things on my resume. I just said-how I sent it, is how I'd like it to be sent further but anyone was free to do whatever they want with it-it's outta my hands whatever she does.
Well, peoples, I don't know what else can be done to salvage this situation, but to say that 'drei-kopps' will always remain 'drei-kopps' and I did my hishtadlus and tried to remain at ease and polite. After all, like she explained to me on the phone, her job is to just GET ME MARRIED. I mean, she didn't say happily married, or satisfied with my bashert-just marry me off and get her $$$.
HHmmmppphhh! Why does shidduchim have to always be so frustrating! Can't this madness end?!


  1. *Patience

    With G-d's help it'll end soon.

  2. Thanks Altie. I am trying really hard to be patient but it doesn't always end pretty...

  3. I can't claim to understand what you are going through. I don't know how old you are or how long you have been dating for. However, I do have quite a lot of friends who are married, or engaged and I know how hard it is to see that and wonder when it will be you. 2 girls recently got engaged that I would have never thought would be getting engaged for another long while. Of course I am happy for them, with a tiny bit of envy.

    But with dating, as with all things in life, our faith must be strong. My mother always says, there's someone for you out there, and it'll happen at the right time.

    May it be soon.