I don't know what's gotten into me. I seem to have become an emotional being. Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not a 'cold' person and I'm very in touch with my feelings, but I'm more of the easygoing, relaxed and fun nature. I pride myself in being the one that can always make ANYONE laugh and can lighten up a situation with a funny story. At weddings, I'm the girl who laughs when someone trips over the kallah, or the one who sorta thinks it's funny that everyone is tearing up at the Bedeken-until recently.
I don't know what it is, but I have become really emotional when it comes to Simchas, or more specifically weddings. I used to watch from the side and just be 'ok' with it, smile and think how nice everyone looks, but lately, I find myself tearing up. I find each Badeken I go to, even more meaningful and I feel like I'm living the moment with the Baalei Simcha themselves. At Chuppahs, I too, find that emotional and don't even get me started on the Mitzvah Tantz.
What has become of me? At first I blamed this new 'sensation' on anything but myself. I would think it's because of the specific situation (e.g. kallah/chosson is a yasom, someone in the family was sick and couldn't be at the wedding, etc) or the relation to the baalei simcha, but as I attend more weddings, especially now that Sefira is over (for most of us) I find myself stuck in this emotional phase. I know a friend of mine who was this tough, tomboy-like girl until she got married and had a kid. We went out after she had a baby and she became this major softy, very girly, worrisome and overprotective, even half-crying sometimes. She blamed it on being a mother/hormones/not sleeping. Well, I can try and blame it on hormones, but being that there were numerous weddings at different times, that wouldn't be a good enough excuse. So is this what happens as I get older and remain single? Is this normal? Anyone else an emotional wreck at Simchas?
I have loved chuppahs and badekens for a while now. I don't get teary (yet) but I go still, I observe, and I mentally demand that the chosson and kallah behave well under the spotlight. These are beautiful moments, people, so step up!
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