Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A: Because they already have boyfriends.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Snap Happy
I was at a wedding last week and when it was all over, I walked out confused. You see, I had this weird thing happen to me and I wasn't sure how to view it. I know how I reacted immediately and how I feel about the whole episode, but I was trying to see if there was something I was missing. Therefore fellow blogreaders-I'm hoping you can enlighten me.
Here's how it all started:
I was at a friend's wedding which was really great. The music was AWESOME, I had a great table and was enjoying myself. I noticed my cellphone ringing on the table (yay for extremely uncommon yet LOUD ringtones) and took the call. I walked out of the dining hall into the outside hall so that I can hear the caller. It was a good friend of mine who I hadn't spoken to in a while and I was happy that I was able to pick up when she called. I was talking to her in a quiet and empty corner of the hall, away from the people/music, when I noticed a lady pass by. A few minutes later, I was still on the phone and I see the same woman standing back and holding something up. I was distracted with the call but it seemed as if she was trying to take a picture with her phone of whatever was behind me. I turned around but there was nothing there-just some small table with empty glasses from the shmorg, a few table cards that were left behind and me. I ignored her (knowing the kind of lady that she is=drei kupp, some would say) and kept on talking when she walked over to me-clearly seeing I was talking to someone, and turned me with her hand, telling me I looked so 'young and beautiful' that she wanted a photo of me. She then snapped a few photos while I was talking
Now folks-I have nothing to do with this woman. Why would she want a photo of me? Even if she had someone in mind-this was clearly rude. We are NOT friends, not even acquaintances, this was NOT ok. Plus I was on the phone speaking to someone and if there was any reason to want a photo, she could've simply asked me later!
In any case, I continued my call, put my hand up to block her from viewing any part of me, put my other hand on my phone against my ear and walked away.
Does anyone think this woman had anything else in mind!?!?! Is this what the world has come to?!
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
35 Signs You Were Raised By A Jewish Mother
1. You know to always bring a jacket no matter what the temperature is.
Source: hobbit-marauder63.tumblr.com
2. Meanwhile, she’s never a comfortable temperature. But she doesn’t want to burden anyone else.
Source: pishelle.buzznet.com
7. Also, she wants to know what you want to eat when you come home. In a month.
Source: isalabelle09.tumblr.com
9. You have a strong preference when it comes to savory or sweet kugel. (SWEET.)
Source: bakeddd.tumblr.com
10. You were forbidden from ever getting a tattoo. She still asks you about this.
Source: afraidofvirginiawoolf.tumblr.com
11. She just wants you to know you’ll never get a job with a tattoo. Or with those clothes. Or with your hair like that.
Source: 1behind2blue3eyes.tumblr.com
12. She says she loves you no matter what your sexual orientation, just raise the children Jewish.
Source: queerty.com
13. She’d prefer you marry a Jew, but if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. Just raise the children Jewish.
Source: zazzle.com
14. And what does he do? It doesn’t matter if he’s a doctor. It would just be nice, that’s all.
Source: sodahead.com
15. Every phone conversation is about how to meet a nice Jewish boy or girl.
Source: madaboutjews.tumblr.com
16. Every phone conversation is also about what you need to do with your life. (Never mind that you’re doing just fine.)
Source: media.tumblr.com
17. She will set you up with Ruth’s boy. You know Ruth? From the synagogue? She ushers on Friday nights.
Source: monstruoso.tumblr.com
18. Twenty years later, she’s still talking about your Bar or Bat Mitzvah on a regular basis.
Source: stream1.gifsoup.com
19. But only because she doesn’t have a wedding to talk about yet. HAVE YOU MET ANY NICE JEWISH BOYS OR GIRLS LATELY?
Source: irememberforever.com
21. If you tell your mom you’re sick, the entire family will know within the hour.
Source: sexdrugsandcocopuffs.tumblr.com
23. That’s if she’s figured out how to text. She’s not great with new technology.
Source: collegehumor.com
24. If you don’t call back immediately, you’re going to get guilt. She knows you’re busy, she just worries.
Source: thiscuckoosnest.com
25. She wants to know if what you’re doing is safe. If it’s not safe, she’ll kill you.
Source: sodahead.com
26. You come in wearing a vintage ripped T-shirt, and she says, “What is this shmata?”
Source: lapetitemariniere.tumblr.com
28. She throws out Yiddish phrases like “baruch hashem” and “kein ayin hara” regardless of context.
Source: throwmorebrandy.tumblr.com
29. She doesn’t need you to pick her up at the airport. She’ll take a taxi. Don’t worry. (Hint: You HAVE to pick her up.)
31. You know that anything bad you do is “killing your mother.” Or anything you do at all, really.
Source: bitsxpiecesofdisney.tumblr.com
32. You accept that she has the ultimate trump card in arguments: guilt.
Source: annie-halls.tumblr.com
33. She reminds you that you’d better not put her in a bad nursing home.
Source: jeannieology.tumblr.com
34. If you share this post with your mom, she’ll say, “But I’m not like this, right?” Just smile and nod.
Source: moviegifs756.tumblr.com
35. She always tells you you can’t get mad at her for caring too much. And you can’t, really, because she’s the absolute best. Thanks, Mom.
Source: fudgeyeahbiglove.tumblr.com
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