About 2 hours ago, I received a phonecall from a lady that I will describe as one of the town's yentas. She knows what is going on in almost everyone's lives and will make it her business to keep her info up to date at all times.
In any case, I couldn't possibly fathom why she wanted to speak to me, but when I heard she was on the phone and wanted to speak to me: I told my sis to say I wasn't home.
(sidenote: ok I lied, which is wrong and people shouldn't lie, but I only felt a teeeny, weeeny bit guilty about it, just because I know what kinda person I'm dealing with)
So she first she asks my sister if all my siblings who are home now and not in school are working. My sister said we are. The town-yenta-lady goes on saying this is terrific and she is calling because she is collecting money for a single girl who is getting married and her parents aren't making money, etc. She goes on and on and sis ain't really paying attention until she gets to the climax:
"and I know that you have a few single siblings who are looking for Shidduchim, so this can be a Zechus for you and your siblings. We can all use the extra Zichusim"
or somethin to that effect.
Ya, basically, she had my money until she hit that line. Yes, I have ma'aser money and yes I give it out and I think it is an 100% worthy cause to help someone get married off and yes, I'll even go so far to know that it is a "zechus" and/or "segulah" to help pay for someone's wedding to find a Shidduch, but seriously? Does this town-yenta-lady think we don't realize we are a few singles in the family? Does she think that we haven't heard of every segulah, tefilah, zechus, rabbi, bracha, etc. that helps you in shidduchim? I don't get how people use our so-called 'downfall' as a benefit to them. Honestly?
I don't need her pityvote to give my money, it's already there, but helloo?? where's the common sense?
So, if I had a penny for everytime someone let us know about a segulah, zechus or such-I'd be a millionaire (and henceforward, probably married off as guys seem to be lookin for megabux).
Too bad money doesn't drop outta tactless individuals-There are so many around, it just seems like a waste....but that's only my opinion...
Tzedaka is always meritorious. One can't argue with that. She probably just thought it was effective to remind you of how you may want the merit to work. But what I get more bothered by are tzedka organizations that present themselves as magical cures for all that ails you, whether it is for shidduchim, having children, parnassah, etc. You name it, this will cure it. That becomes ludicrous. Look the Gemara says that someone who says this coin [for tzedaka] is meant so that my son may live is a tzadik gamur. That means there is nothing wrong with hoping for something as a result of the tzedaka. But the Gemara does not say that it is guaranteed that his son will recover.
ReplyDeleteI find it completely wrong for someone to tie tzedaka with a magic wand. I thought we kind og believed in the whole G-d thing . . .
ReplyDeleteAlthough my father says that I am exempt from giving tzedakah because as an unmarried daughter, my earnings technically belong to him, so he gives tzedakah for me. I give behind his back, not because I'm adding another dollar into the "White Knight, preferably with stallion" fund, but because I think I can say "Teshuva Tefilah Tzadaka" with a straight face.
And segulas, according to Rabbi Yisroel Resiman, usually have no basis except for 100 brachos a day. And, unless you do everything else properly, they won't help you at all.