Fountain Heads Pesach Song-Breakin' Free

Jewish Passover Song

Pesach for Singles

Let's face it, Pesach isn't exactly a Yom Tov for singles.

For families? sure

For mothers, there's the cleaning, cooking, preparation, etc.

For fathers, there's the matzah baking, bedikas chametz, burning, selling, afikoman, etc.

For kids, well Afikoman OF COURSE, as well as cool arts & crafts, loads of haggadah creating, not to mention divrei torah, and chol hamoed trips.

But for singles? what to do we get? helping in the house with chores, some baking, cooking and cleaning. Giving up our rooms for the Marrieds & Co, getting gifts for the kiddies, but nothing else really.

Every so often there's the awkward Chol Hamoed date where there's no where to go without bumping into the entire community as like everyone is off school/work and there are only so many places you can go without being seen. Plus, no restaurants or coffee shops sorta make it difficult. Not to even mention g'brokts & non-g'brokts, kitniyos, etc.

Let's just say, if there was a Haggadah for Singles, the theme in my house would be 'Ha Lachma Anya', or more specifically the part where we all invite the guests, and by that I mean the SINGLE guests.

Imagine, all single guys piling into my house for the Seder, it would be a one night date where we could observe so much about a guy.

How he says his brachos, how he reads from his haggadah, if he participates in the Seder and how. Will he space out and be bored and passive, or participate, sing a long, share some Divrei Torah?

If he helps serve/clean up, or eats like a slob. If he serves others first, or serves himself first.

There is so much to get outta a Singles Seder. So, if you're a guy and single, and lookin for a Seder to join, c'mon over & join us!

It's Rainin Men...

The entire day has been, well, typical English weather-dark, dreary, cold and rainy.

I looked at the window, and was sorta happy that it was raining, otherwise I wouldn't wanna be stuck indoors all day Pesach cleaning and would probably prefer to be outdoors tanning/biking/walking/shopping/ice coffeeing, etc.

Anyway, so I'm scrubbing away in the kitchen and then it really starts to pour, and in typical SOS fashion, I start bellowing 'It's rainin men, Halle..' and then my mother, from down the hall asks if it really is raining. I stopped for a second and thought, if it really would be raining men, my mother would be the first one to run outside with a BUCKET, to collect all these men and then keep the best for, well, for me.

I then went down the hall to my mother and brought her a bucket....a bucket to clean with.

Too bad it ain't rainin men....

the D word

Don't shoot me down for bringing the dreaded 'D' word into my blog. We all know it's out there, we all try to avoid it like the plague, after all, we, as singles are looking to get married, why would we even speak, even think of Divorce? But with it becoming so common these days, it's sorta hard to ignore/avoid it.

I should know, I have a friend who is the object of a very messy divorce where her parents use her as a pawn in court, in the papers, heck, in the media even.

I also have another friend who got divorced after just a few months of marriage.

I've been suggested to boys from divorced homes, and boys, who themselves were divorced.

So I guess you can say it's all around and happening more often these days.

The reason I bring it to this blog though, is a different reason altogether. You see, this past Shabbos, I was unfortunate to find myself in the midst of a yenta fest. Picture this: you're at a local Kiddush on your way home from Shul and it's just a 'five minute drop in' (hopefully) where you find the Baal/as Simcha, say Mazel Tov, maybe sneak in a few rugelach, and then leave, before all the pity-eyed wellwishers come your way.

Now picture this: me-the 5 min drop in, trying to get to the baalas simcha, but stuck in a corner behind a cookie table, between 3 yenta women, and with no way out as the baal simcha is talking to the caterer and waiter at the entrance.

Yes, folks, I had to stand there and listen to the yentas and their chat. So after the basic talk about the tablecloths, food, decor and set up of the Kiddush and then how the Baal/as Simcha looked and where they got the outfits, shoes, and hairstyles, then came the D word. They got up with the recent divorces, the ones that weren't so recent that they just heard of, etc. Then Yenta A told the other two yenta ladies about this woman who just got divorced, but apparently realized something was wrong with her husband shortly after marrying him. In fact, she said, the woman called her Rabbi and told him of her concern but the guy's family sorta blinded him and he advised her to stick with him. Atleast 15 years and a whole lotta kids later, after the abuse finally got to her and she had some sorta breakdown, then he went to court, got custody and now she is suffering alone, in a depression, with a mental illness, all due to something that either could've been stopped back then or prevented, had someone just said something.

Yenta B told of a divorce she heard of, where the girl got divorced after just 6 weeks, all quick and quiet, without the parents even knowing. She just came home after a 'honeymoon' and went on.

Yenta C listened in, gave her mini-saga of a divorce she knew of, (where the girl knew weeks after her wedding that something was seriously wrong with her husband, but then found out that she was pregnant and stayed until she had the baby) and then concluded by stating that this is why the Rabbonim are now saying that the girls should protect themselves (aka be on the pill) for the first 6 months, until they are sure, or until they are comfortable knowing they want kids with a guy.

I stood there, trying not to listen, but with nowhere else to go, let alone move, or even look, I sorta had to agree that the 6 month thing made sense to me. We live in a scary world. People aren't as honest and upfront as we would like them to be. I, certainly, have trust issues, after being misled so many times with guys, be it from the shadchans, the references, or even the guys themselves. At the same time, who would want to go to their chuppah, still not feeling sure of the whole shidduch, or with a 'what if' feeling. Why take the extra chance. And, if, even the Rabbonim are suggesting this, it must be because they feel that at this stage and with everything going on, it is necessary.

We live in a real scary world, where no one wants to face the facts or even hear about them, yet, unfortunately, they are more common than not and more closer than we think. We have to see the reality in the situation and even if this 6 month thing is not a solution, but a small suggestion, it still is better than the alternative, if G-d forbid anyone gets stuck in such a situation.

May we all merit to only be surrounded by loving and happy marriages and only share in Simchas.

The 'Why' Question

Too bad there isn't an 'italic' option for titles on this blog, otherwise the emphasis on 'why' would've been more showy.

In any case, you now get the point of this post, folks. Y'see, lately the same names have been coming up as suggestion for me. Each time, I politely thank the person suggesting it and then tell them that it was suggested once before already and nothing came of it, or we went out and it's not for me, or it's not shayach, etc.

Now, if this were a perfect world...well, if this were a perfect world, we'd all be happily married and not reading this post. But, if this would be a realistic perfect world, the suggester would say, 'oh, sorry, I thought it was a good shot' and the likes of something that sounds like 'better luck next time' and drop the subject. But, no, my fellow readers, people don't know how to drop a subject, they feel the need to bury deeper. Get some kinda meaning outta this whole suggestion and not just let it go now that they have your attention.

So then comes, the 'why' question(s), like 'it didn't work out? Well, why not?' or the 'maybe you should go out again. you know so & so went out 5 years earlier and then they dated again and now look, they're happily married' or 'what happened? why didn't it go further? why don't you give it another try...you never know, I mean, you're both single & it wasn't so far off the first time..'

So, I feel that when a suggestion comes in, even if the suggestion is SOooo far off from what I'm looking for, or such an insult of a guy, I still try and remain polite & thank the person for the suggestion. Even if the suggestion is a good one, once they get to the 'why' question(s), I sorta freeze/get annoyed/mad/frustrated, etc. Each time, I still remain polite & calm, but once I'm done the conversation, I really get upset. It's like you havta give details about your personal life to any lunatic who suddenly hears you are single and wants to know 'WHY WHY WHY'.

Frankly, it's annoying. I like my personal life to remain...well, PERSONAL.

How would you answer the WHY question?

Controversial plastic surgeon offers free surgery to Jewish singles

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21007008181396/controversial-plastic-surgeon-offers-free-surgery-to-jewish-singles/