Don't get me wrong, way back when i started dating I remember being redt boys who were the same age or younger. Being a 19-20 year old girl, you can imagine my extreme hesitancy in dating (for marriage) a boy who was only 19 or 20 max. And even then, when I said no-he's too young, I got harassed by the people suggesting it. Age, they told me, shouldn't be a major deal breaker. I was told some boys are just much more mature than others. Ya, either that or they needed someone to put them in place, or to mother them. As if their own mom's weren't enough helicopter mom is for them.
Fast forward a good decade later. When I'm suggested and have gone out with guys the same age, or a few years my junior and guess what? We both survived the dates, and as mutually grown up mature adults, have decided not to continue dating.
Yet, when a profile comes along or someone is redt and all sounds like it can be a potentially good match, the guy says no solely because we are the same age....or a few months younger. And at that point the Shadchan sighs and says 'what can we do? He made his decision and that's that'. Not that the Shadchans convince them that everything else seems to be a good fit and why not give it a try. An hour or two for a coffee break? Make some calls before knocking the idea. No sir ree. The boy said no because of age and that's final.
Where are those harassing shadchans now? Why aren't they telling the guys that wanting to date a girl 10 years younger isnt usually ideal and to give it a chance?
I just don't get these guys?
Any insight from the males out there, would be gladly appreciated.
Shadchans also harass guys (even if they don't tell you about it )and with the shidduch crisis it's harder to pressure them bec they have so many other options
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