The Shadchan Experiment

This last month I did something like never before. After years of complaining and ranting about 'the system', my friends and I decided to DO something about it. It took some brainstorming sessions but we came up with a plan. So, after recovering from my Shabbos vaca, the 3 of us got together, rented a van and made a road trip to the Big Apple to meet as many Shadchans/Shidduch group as possible in order to gain the maximum amount of exposure in the 'shidduch world' and spread our names. We decided to stay the month so if any SHIDDUCHIM come up we'd be 'in town' to date. 

The experiment started off on a very disappointing foot. We arrived straight to Shadchan #1 who had arranged for a few other shadchanim to be at her house to meet us. After asking us all for our emails and snapping photos (yes-they did take out cameras to take our photos). They suggested we meet every other 'we'll known' Shadchan and wished us hatzlacha. After sitting for what seemed like an hour we left, heads hung low. 

The next Shadchan we met was one of the 'top 5' yet, utterly upsetting. He didn't seem to really care much about us or the fact that we took off time and drove the long drive down for shidduch purposes. He stared at his computer most of the time and nodded his head whilst saying 'ah ha' every few minutes. He said he had some ideas and would be in touch. 

uh-he never was in touch. 

One of us was actually set up during our month stay-just one, and it ended up being set up by her friend. 

Next off was a woman my friend heard of who was pretty popular in terms of Heimishe shidduchim. We got to her house and she was sitting calmly on her couch, smiling at us and patting the spot next to her for us to sit down. Of course we all sat on the 'other side' of the couch and left my friend, Dassy to sit next to her as she was the one who made the appointment. Needless to say it felt super intimidating to be sitting next to this woman with a plastered smile on her face and just firing question after question in as little as 20 minutes. We got outta there quicker than you can say sorry and continued onto the next few meetings. 

BU I can say that after week#1 it went pretty well. Random friends and acquaintances set each of us up with guys. One shachan I saw even managed to try and arrange something which ended up working out due to a friend of mine intervening but I really felt I was doing my part and putting in Hishtadlus. I came home feeling refreshed that even though nothing really worked out, aTLEASt I went with friends and we made the best of it. Atleast we were each able to meet 1 guy (some of us met 4 guys in a week!) and come away with a feeling of pride when you put time and effort into something and it works out. 

So the shidduch experiment last month, I feel was a true success.