Perfectly Wrong

Being harassed is tiring and that's how I spent these last few days. This woman who claims to know me has been calling around. I know because my neighbors, friends and acquaintances have all told me she called them. That was before she called me. When I got the call, she introduced herself by saying we met briefly before (which I clearly don't recall) and let on to some kinda Jewish geography connection (small world...). Then she went on to tell me she had the "perfect" shidduch idea and asked for my email address so she can send me his bio. I provided this to her but was shocked when the email came in. Everything about the guy was exactly what I was NOT looking for. It's as if this was world's worse joke! 

I didn't know how to handle this, since I knew that this woman-the way she sounded so enthusiastic and excited when we first spoke, would NOT take well to my "no" to her suggestion. But honestly is best policy, right?

Before I even had the chance to call her, she had called me. Twice! And left a voicemail! When I called back and told her it wasn't shayach she didn't take it lightly, as I predicted. In fact she went ballistic. She was adamant that this guy was "THE ONE" although to can't even fathom as to her reasoning. 

So here I am, days later, still trying to convince her that yes, my answer is still "no". Still trying to figure out how if she doesn't even know me, why she believes he's perfect. Especially since he's nothing I'm looking for, not even remotely. 

Let's put it this way: how do I get the message across so that she can stop harassing me (and everyone else that knows me) for good??

How can I make her understand that it ain't gonna work AT ALL?

all suggestions will be taken seriously

*this is not an April fools joke* (although my shidduch life is beginning to feel like one right now)