My Knitted Boyfriend

I found this article quite disturbing and it got me thinking; what is this world coming to?

Are you longing for a boyfriend? Well, if you don’t mind your guy being a semi-creepy, life-size knit person, have we got the self-birthday gift for you.

Dutch designer Noortje de Keijzer has created a pair of cushion men, lovingly hand-stitched by her mother and grandmother and known collectively as “My Knitted Boyfriend.” Their individual names, however, are Artur and Steve and they both come with their own manly accessories, like mustaches, bowties, glasses and even tattoos (for those who like our stuffed men a bit on the wild side.)

There’s also an illustrated how-to manual for those who need a little tutelage on what to do with an inanimate object.

“My Knitted Boyfriend is a cushion with a story. A cushion with a personality. A cushion to kiss! Or, well… to cuddle, to caress, to hug, and to smile with. Because this man is always happy,” de Keijzer writes on her website.

“But most of all he likes to lay down next to you in bed. With your head on his chest and his arms wrapped around you. This way you will never feel alone ever again. With this man you can be sure, he will never leave you.”

While de Keijzer admits the idea started off as a bit of a joke, she was also inspired by the loneliness she felt for lack of a companion. "I could say that's a joke, but it is partly true," she tells i09.

An accompanying video to promote the product reveals that the Utrecht, Netherlands-based artist has a pretty good sense of humour about the whole thing, although try not to bristle when she carries the knitted skin suit to her bed and stuffs it with a pillow. For those who have never seen Silence of the Lambs, this is pretty much the arts and crafts version.

A little creativity is a good thing, however, and de Keijzer has come up with more of a social statement than a lasting work of art. No matter how busy our lives get, it reminds us of how deeply we as a species need to connect on the most basic, organic level.

It also puts the Japanese Boyfriend Pillow to shame. Because why settle for a disembodied arm when you can snuggle up beside an entire person-shaped replica?