So here's the deal: I had midwinter break and was enjoying my time off. Sleeping in, meeting up with friends, going out to eat (more often) and just chillin out. One lunch I was due to meet my friend Suri at the local cafe. I got there a good 5 minutes early and there was a line up so I stood there at the back of the line and waited.
That's when I noticed two guys. I've never seen them before and there was no 'out of town' license plates on any cars parked outside. I was curious about them-were they my age? We're they single? They seemed like nice, frum, guys. Could they be here for a wedding or maybe both of them are here for dates? Who knows. All I know is that no matter how curious-there as no way I would walk on over to their table and start chatting to them. What if they were both married?!? How awkward. And this my fellow readers is why a frum girl can't just march on over and talk to any guy she's interested in. If he IS married or has a girlfriend-she walks away feeling stupid. If he isn't married or someone else's boyfriend, she might have a maybe very slight percentage of chance that he is interested in her.
Sheesh-where's my little guy friend/puppy/someone else's kid I'm babysitting to startup a convo. Nothing like a baby to help get someone's attention.
Anyway-any ideas as to how to approach a guy that you see, don't recognize/know and seem interested without the shame/embarrassment of making a total fool of yourself? Share them in the comments section below.
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I don't think there is a way to not feel stupid or embarrassed if it turns out they are both married with ten kids between them. Bummer.
ReplyDeleteOr if they're married to each other? :P
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should follow them to shul and see if they wear a tallis?
Frum Geek, some Jews start to wear a talis (or talit) at age 13, even if they are married.
ReplyDeleteTrue, but if they're not wearing a Tallis, then you know they're not :)
ReplyDeleteFG: Even if I do follow them to Shul, I kinda stick to the women's section....plus, being a girl, I don't usually go to Shul during the week and on Shabbos with all those yentas davening on the 'other side' with me, watching me, watching me watching them....A W K W A R D
ReplyDeleteI can't stand yentas, they ruin the Jewish people, they ruin everything.
ReplyDeleteNothing is more harmful than so-called "harmless gossip."
What a beautiful world it will be, when the yentas finally shut their mouths.
I'm frankly disappointed in you. Surely you must know that women have a veritable armament of tools at their disposal to let a guy know they are interested without having to walk over and start a conversation. Convey a sense of interest and if they're single and interested they'll initiate contact. The problem is that frum girls, whether interested or not, have been trained to avoid eye contact, avoid smiling in a guy's direction, and in general convey an utter lack of interest even when that's not the case.
ReplyDeleteSo True Anonymous! So So So true. So what is a tzniyus way to do it, then?? ~Ayelet
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