New Age Shidduch Tefillah

I’m behaving with my best behavior
because I need a major favor.
I’m not asking for money or an expensive "toy"
all I want is one good boy.
please let him have personality & good looks
I don’t need a frankenstein that’s for the books"
he should be learning in yeshiva, "sitting the bench"
and yeh, please make sure he’s a big mentch.
and just remember that every week I hold the havdallah candle very high
that’s to make sure that he’s a taaaaall guy.
don’t let him be fat, overweight or obese,
& not a hatzoloh/shomrim macher with all the keys.
he should be polished, well dressed and in style,
and its a plus if he has a nice looking smile.
let his family be normal, I don’t want a nebachdik mishpacha,
& good GIVING uncontrolling, un-butting in in-laws are a major bracha.
I hate shidduchim, they’re such a pain,
id rather get stuck in a storm of rain.
I hate dating, I hate tu bishvat,
this whole freezer thing should defrost and rot.
whatever u do, just get me outta this situation,
it gives me headaches, stomach aches & other complications.
I’m behaving very good,
I’m trying to do whatever I should
I daven mincha, tehilim, I say the zivug prayer - hey, whatever it takes!
just send me my man already, for heavens sakes!!
PLEASE help me put an end to this annoying stage of my life
and help me become the right guys wife.
don’t torture me, don’t make me cry,
all I’m asking for is MY one guy!