"The Talk"

This past week, I got 'The Talk'. Yup girls and boys, aka lads & gals, aka, gentlemen and women, I'm not referring to "The Talk" where your parents sit you down, nor am I referring to "The Talk" where you get told about the birds & the bees.

I'm referring to "The Talk", or as I like to think of it-"The Tell-Off", which usually comes from a shadchan or person who knows you well.

"The Talk" consists of someone who knows you, or perhaps doesn't know you at all, who 'redds' you a shidduch or doesn't even have to, but who feels the need to (what they feel is) educate you in the ways of life and tell you off about your attitude, opinion(s), feeling(s) and dealing(s) in shidduchim and the way you go about your dating life.

"The Talk" is the need of others to tell you-the unexperienced one (being that you are single) what it is you are doing wrong since you are indeed, single.

So, I got "The Talk" this week. It was from a woman who knows me and my family, not THAT well, but well enough to make a suggestion or two. She did redd me a shidduch in the past and brought up another one a while back and recently another guy, who, after alot of nudging, I agreed to date. "The Talk" she gave me lasted for what seemed like FOREVER. She went on and on about how I should be the age right now (she had to ask how old I was!) to know what I want and see how things work and that at my age, I should know that people come with baggage and there are alot of crazies out there and being that she was offering me a decent guy-which I TOTALLY agreed with, that I should marry him. .

In any case, I had my reasons for not wanting to continue and they were very valid. However, this woman went on with 'The Talk', fighting my every valid reason with "but THESE kind of boys make good husbands and good fathers and good life partners" as well as "no one gets divorced from THAT kinda thing" and lastly "well, he's like that now, but BELIEVE me, he will be TOTALLY different once he's married".

Yup, so, after what seemed like ages, and telling me that I'm old enough to know that what comes sooner than later or more singles with more baggage and more issues and I should settle just because he's decent, I felt like I had enough of "The Talk".

In the end, I told her my answer is still no and you know what-after that entire "Talk" and telling me off, and pushing and convincing and almost ensuring I will never find someone, or if I do, he will be crazy and have all sorts of issues and baggage-after I again, explained my reasoning=she AGREED with me whole heartedly!

Just goes to show-you don't havta let "The Talk" take you over!