Based on comments on my last post, I just want to say what whilst 'looks aren't everything' and 'how can I think a guy is interesting based on looks', in this day and age, when every other guy asks for an emailed resume, along with a 150 dpi photo, 1 full length, 1 close up, I can't help but get turned off by this whole 'system'.
Heck, I don't think these shadchanim or 'random nice people who call and ask you to fax your resume to them' even READ the resumes-they probably just forward or fax it over to the guy.
In fact, as proof for this entry, my friend just told me this past Friday night that when she was dating (only a year ago), her Shadchan gave her Chosson 20 profiles along with pictures and he chose her from that pile of resumes! Whilst she was happy that she was 'The Chosen One', I personally, thought this was disgusting. If this is the situation, we might as well print catalogues and give ourselves ID numbers for order.
In any case, when some eye candy came along-which we all know is quite rare, especially in terms of frum guys (no offense), I couldn't help but drool..err...think about what kind of guy he really is, so basically the 'look' made me curious. I wanted to know if he is stuck up, or nice, loud or shy, and ya, i would date him only if he fit the criteria i was looking for-not just based on looks! As much as he 'walked the walk' I was interested to know as well, if he talked the talk.
What's wrong with being a bit curious?
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ReplyDeleteThe objections weren't toward your curiosity, it was toward you seemingly serious statement, "The good ones are all taken," based on sight alone.
ReplyDeleteWe all drool from time to time. We get curious. But I don't make a good-looking stranger into the bestest. He is merely good-looking.
I sincerely hope that not all guys are sifting through insane paperwork before a date. While your anecdote is certainly frightening, it hopefully applied only to her.
The best thing to do is go around the system. Unfortunately if you approach the shadchanim yourself they so won't take you seriously Instead try it this way, which is a little hard, find a good married friend, or family you're close to if it's possible and ask them if they can do some interviews for you and get in between you and the shadchanim.
ReplyDeleteI tried the traditional system and after two failed dates that cost me a plane ticket to New York and a good year of being told all of my negative qualities that weren't going to attract a mate, gave up and changed my methods up. It worked too. The next guy I dated was my husband!
Good Luck!