Being that it is midwinter vacation (atleast for some of us here), my family decided to take time off and visit our relatives in Brooklyn-after all, who DOESN'T have Brooklyn relatives!
So, being that this was the case, we figured we would get a head start and start calling the Shadchanim to 'remind' them that, 'hey-I'm still around and single and looking', and 'just by the way, we're gonna be in NYC, if you happen to know someone...'
So, I'm the kinda gal who believes that when 1 small out-of-town girl decides to get up and make the BIG move to NY in terms of Shidduchim, and everyone believes this is the magic solution to finding their mate-I say 'there are soooo many single girls in NY, why would people even care if you, Ms. ___, from ____, O.O.T. moved and are looking to get married?!??! so is every other girl!'
Well-guess what? After spending approximately 2 weeks making phonecalls, chasing people down and when you do finally reach them-they only give their email address and remind you to send 2 pictures (1 full length, 1 close up), it's quite frustrating. OK, so I sent a few emails out and faxed the 'resume' to a few of the shadchanim who requested faxes, but so far I haven't heard back from any of them-not even one!
Is this still considered "Hishtadlus"?
I do not believe that calling so called shadchanim is hishtadlus. According to halacha, hishtadlus in terms of girls means you dress up when you go out. And considering today's decline of fashion, plenty of girls get married without even doing that.
ReplyDeleteCalling shadchanim just leaves one's self-esteem bruised and battered. I decided just to let the Eibishter handle it. After dressing up, of course.