Two Timing?

I'm not trying to judge-really, I'm not. I'm just trying to understand-so please help clarify this situation:

There's this family that lives in my area. They're really nice people, Baalei Tzedaka, friendly, good kids-actually REALLY good kids, respectable, etc.

Anyway, their oldest son is learning in a really good yeshiva in Israel-one of the strict Yeshivish ones (no, not The Mir) that only the best learners get into. I just found this out about a month ago and was clearly impressed (don't worry-he's waaaaay too young for me-like not even dating yet young!).

So-where is the clarification needed?

Well, you see a week or two ago we were driving around doing errands when his mom parks right infront of me. She gets out of her car and is wearing pants! yes, I said p-a-n-t-s, which could clearly be seen as pants and no such fashionable 'slinky skirt that maybe was just staticky and stiking to her legs', but her short coat revealed her legs which were covered by pants.

I must say I was shocked. No it wasn't jeans, no it wasn't snow pants, it was clearly pants and these are Frum people, she wears a sheitel, the family is black hat heimishe, her kids is learning in one of the top most respectable Yeshivos in Israel!

Someone who was with me at the time mentioned that perhaps she was on her way to the gym which was a few blocks away-but still, even if she was, how can she walk around outside like that when people can see her.

Is this normal? Help me see the light!

10 First Date Rules for Guys

Thanks to my friend, Chani, who sent me this article.

(The Frisky) -- Ah, first dates. So nerve-wracking. If only you knew exactly what was going to happen, then you could plan out everything in advance. But first dates are kind of like playing the lottery. You've got to be in it to win it, but sometimes you end up empty-handed. If you're a woman, you know these sorts of situations don't always go so smoothly.

If you're a guy, here are 10 tips that can make the first date easier on all of us.

Take charge. We do not want to decide where to go. We will never tell you this, but it is true. Ask us what kind of place and/or food we like; then, pick a place like that. Do not leave it up to us to choose. You are the man. Act like one.

Smile. When we arrive, smile. Maybe you are a tough guy. Maybe you are nervous. Maybe you are paralyzed. Either way, smile. Women are strange, exotic, intuitive creatures, and we respond well to positive reinforcement. Do not glower.

Mind your body language. If your legs are crossed and your hand is over your mouth, we will unconsciously think you are hiding something. If you are sprawled out all over with your legs spread wide and your hands behind your head, we will think you are a slob or generally loose. Sit up straight, lean in closer, and keep your hands where we can see them.

Ask questions. This seems obvious, but it's surprising how many men don't do this. You know what women like? Attention. Also, kittens, flowers, and cupcakes. Nothing else. If you seem curious about the woman sitting across from you, she will like it. For sure.

Listen. You can't just ask a bunch of questions, and then not listen to the answers. They call this a "date," but, really, for women, it's more like a "test." If you e-mailed or talked on the phone beforehand, remember what the hell she told you about herself. If you forget, we will feel angry and want to leave. Then you will be sorry.

Use flattery, appropriately. If at some point during our meeting, you tell us we are "beautiful," "attractive," or "pretty," we will like you better than if you didn't. It's. Just. That. Simple.

Act confident. We really do not care if you are secretly neurotic, deeply insecure, or mildly nuts. We are interested in how you portray yourself. Act confident, interested, engaged, self-assured, ambitious, and happy. We like that. Thanks.

No pawing allowed. If you're going to score with us at some point, we will let you know. Trust. Occasional physical contact is OK -- a hand to the small of the back, a touch of the thigh, a brief holding of the arm while making a point. Do not grab anywhere in the red light zones. If we want your hands there, we will put them there. side note: this doesn't count for us SHOMER frum singles-in which case, occasional contact is only ok after marriage

Please pay. Feminism, shmeminism. Take care of the bill without comment. That is what we want. Wave off any offer to go dutch. We lied. We don't want to pay half.

Say goodnight. Don't meander off into the night. Do something. What -- that is up to you: a handshake, a hug, a kiss. Do it right, and you might get a second date

TM & © 2009 TMV, Inc. All Rights Reserved

The NAME GAME

This ever happen to you?

A while back this boy was 'redd' to me. Of course, his name came up a few times over the past year or so but each time nothing came of it for whatever the reason.

Anyway, this woman calls us and redds this same boy. The boy looked ito me and everything sounded great.

-and the 'BUT Factor' was: his mom has the same name as me.

So, while looking into me, they also found out that I am lucky enough to be Blessed with 2 names (even tho I'm only called by the one that is his mom's name).

AND-his mom had a brilliant brainstorm! She suggested, because the shidduch sounded so 'shayach', that it would be a great idea to just CHANGE MY NAME. Yes, folks, you heard it here first.

This woman, decided that I simply change my name-my identity, what I've been called and known as for my entire life, to something else, just so that I can go out with her son.

So, you think this is a normal suggestion? Imagine if I were to tell her the same thing-would she just go about changing her name to 'shprintza' or 'yentl' or 'madonna'?!

After hearing only this 1 idea from the mom-I very politely told them 'nu-uh, no way, neva in a million years' I am my name and will always remain that way!

so I ask you-dear ladies & gent....did this ever happy to you?

Wedding Sefs vs. Ashkies

So, as my good friend Ruchie would put it, in terms of Jews there are 2 main categories: Sefs (Sefardim) and Ashkies (Ashkenazim). Being that I'm ashkenaz and most of my friends are Ashkenaz, I've attended more than my share of 'Ashkie' weddings. However, I DID go to a Bais Yaakov school, which means I did have some 'Sef' classmates and have therefore attended some Sef weddings, not to mention some of my relatives married Sefs as well.
Last night was the first time in quite a while that I went to an ALL SEF wedding. Meaning, both sides were TOTAL Moroccan Sefardi. Lemme just state-from an Ashkie point of view-SEF weddings ROCK!
Yes, everything from the shmorg (cocktails) to the dancing to the DJ (music) to the GORGEOUS guys, ROCKED. Here's a few of the things I liked better than our weddings
1. LOTSA more single guys
2. The single guys that were there were all STUNNING, had great hair, nicely put together, etc.
3. The food was awesome! they just kept replenishing and and offering more and more.
4. GREAT BAR=drinks all night long! (and for once, I wasn't the designated driver!)
5. Mixed cocktails-by the Sefs, they don't have Kaballas Panim. You don't see the Kallah, people just walk around and socialize by the food, guys & girls together.
6. Gorgeous gowns-give it to the Sefs-not only do they have the 'natural beauty gene' but they have really good taste in their outfits.
7. Decor-these people had it from the crystal dripping posts, to the flowers and palm trees in the hall.
8. Did I mention really good Cosmopolitans?
9. ULTRA leibedik dancing on both ends!
10. Chosson & Kallah & bridesmaids-groomsmen walk down to Titanic, Josh Groban-you raise me up, etc.
So, if its Ashkie vs. Sef wedding-which would you choose and why?

Shomer Negiah Boyfriend

In honor of Valentine's Day-a temporary 'boyfriend Shomer Negiah pillow'

Top Ten way to Celebrate Valentine's Day as a Frum Single

Top Ten Ways for Frum Singles to Celebrate Valentine's Day in 2010

1. Girl's mothers send box of chocolates to Shadchanim (in order to upgrade them to the top of 'the list')
2. Boys calling their moms to wish them Happy Valentine's Day (if they know what's good for them)
3. Boys mothers receiving conversation hearts with a name of a girl on each heart candy and a phone number/email for contact information on the back.
4. Shadchan sends singing telegram to boy, singing girl resume to him to persuade him to go out.
5. Boy uses Valentine's as a reason to wear a pink shirt.
6. Girl buys low-fat, calorie-free, chocolate to binge on after being dumped by guy
7. Shidduch Meetings brainstorm creative ways to propose, all using chocolate, candy & flowers.
8. Girls can wear red or pink on a date and get away clean.
9. Girls with the name, "Rose, Rosie, Roslyn' are most likely to get a 'yes' from a guy.
10. Girls can get away with sending 12 red roses to the guy they have their eye on without worrying about being too forward

Shidduch Resumes

Over the past few years, it has become a common term in the shidduch world-'Shidduch Resume'. I don't consider myself old, but when I started dating, people just called on the telephone and got information the oldfashioned way-by asking and writing down the info. and references. Now, though, it is very rare for someone to call and jot down info and that's because of Shidduch Resumes.

No, folks, unfortunately there is no auto Wizard template in Word to help you figure this one out, you gotta do it all by yourself. So when the time came, I drew up a resume according to my basic information and also according to information that I would wanna know about a guy.

Every so often when dealing with a new shadchan or someone new, we would send the resume and the person receiving it would call back with what they would call ' constructive criticism' and tell you everything wrong with your resume, or as I call it-tell you what to remove, if not everything.

Lately, some of my friends and even family members have called asking me to email my shidduch resume. I know=it's crazy right? These people are supposed to know me the best! I grew up with them, shared secrets, fought, cried, and laughed together, yet when it comes to info-people will still ask for resumes and not just 'take their word for it'. So, when my close friends and family call, its a bit hurtful to me, but I gotta take into account that it's not them, its the people who are 'looking into me' that want it on a nice letterhead, etc. I even allow them to edit whatever they want-cuz I trust them blind.

Hey! If I had my way, I would photoshop a pic of a model, fix up her outfit to cover her collarbone and click send!