Freak or Fashionist-Friendly?

Went out with this guy a few times. The first time he seemed genuinely fun and I had a great time. Second time, more personable and decent. Then  he made mention of something during a convo. I'm not quite sure how he brought it into the conversation, as it had nothing to do with any topic or discussion but it kinda weirded me out. He asked if I changed my nail polish since our first date. I know there are women who notice everything about other women (especially style) and maybe there are guys but he seemed waaay to focused on it. <side note: I did NOT change my nail polish as there wasn't really time between our dates>. He wouldn't let it to and convinced me that it was different. Whatevs, I was too awkward we out to argue. 

Then later on when we met up he made mention of my perfume and asked me if I was wearing "such and such" brand. That seriously creeped me out. Unless his mom wears that brand and he just bought it for her as a gift?

Does anyone find these two specific mentions to be normal??!??

Putting the "Uch" in Shidduch

There are so many different names in my shidduch vocabulary, and by that I don't mean "on the market" and "in the parsha". I have my own shidduch lingo that my friends and family have gotten used to and use themselves. 

Different categories of boys/families have different names as well as code-names for the annoying shadchanim (aka 'namedroppers') and communal people who 'just wanna help u get married'. 

Well, I'm sure you, my fellow readers, have your own words and superlatives to describe this 'wonderful world of Shidduchim' which we are living, but I would just like to place my focus on one type. 

The type of people who put the "Uch" in Shidduch. The creeps. The ones who you feel might be a bit too stalkerish. The men who are a tad bit too friendly. I mean, they're always the nice, "cool" young guys who "totally get it" and are down to your level but there's something about them that just makes you uncomfortable. 

Lucky for me, I've had my fair share of "uchs". I've dated some of them, were redd by some of them and had those weird emails/texts from others. 

For starters-my word of advice is keep your distance. If you feel uncomfortable, there's a reason. In my case it was a guy in the community who I knew "of" but he didn't know me and was trying to understand and get to know me in order to redd me a shidduch but the more he kept emailing me the more awkward I felt and just ended it. I told him I was busy dating someone else and would be in touch if things didn't work out. When I happen to see him at the local grocery or seomthing I walk the other way I just don't get good vibes from him. 

Oh and then theres the guy I dated who was majorly obsessive. He wouldn't stop calling me while we were dating from the moment he dropped me at my house until the next date! Or the one who insisted on buying me something EVERY date and would make me choose cuz he HAD to? Or the guy who asked waaaaaay too many too personal questions. l say there are lotsa hardships and emotions in dating. Just stick with ur gut-if it doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Cut it off as soon as u get the vibe. There are enuf meshugenas around what's one less? Especially in Shidduchim! Do the rest of us singles a favor, when there's an Uch-get rid of it. 

Purim Prank or Profile Punishment?

I was speaking with a shadchan the other day for quite some time. The issue that came up (this time) was one that was mentioned before so I wasn't at all alarmed-just disappointed. 

He explained to me that he redd me a shidduch but upon calling the references listed on my profile, the boy/boy's mom got a TOTALLY different impression of me. The references they spoke with described an 'extremist' type girl with very yeshivish views and chassidish background. 

No-I kid you all not. That whole phrase didn't make sense to me either, in fact it's a total oxymoron, which is why I had the shadchan repeat it to me numerous times. 

The deal is, I've had issues in the past with my references, which is sad as most people use their friends and close confidants as shidduch references. So when you're informed that someone close to you is giving bad/wrong information, you sorta start losing trust in those around you. So began Shidduch Profile 1.2 and then 1.3.  Now in 2014 I would say I've updated to Shidduch 4.0 and I have faith in my references...well I did have faith in them until this week. 

What irks me is how off that phrase that the boy's mom told the shadchan is. For starters I'm totally Hungarian background not chassidish. Second of all Yeshivish is no where near me at ALL. And lastly all the small details about my personality were total opposite. So I can't figure out why someone close enough to be my friend would sabotage me. 

I'm praying that this is all just 'broken telephone'.

Then again, with my friends, this can all be one large Purim prank gone too far. Well, only one way to find out :D

Chosson Mag?

Dunno if any of you fellow blog fans take to reading the NY Post but this article really disturbed me.

At first I was all like-yay, a shidduch site converted to a printed colored glossy=no more boring, grayscale, all text resumes, now we get colored photos. Then when I actually READ into the article, and some of the photos appeared I was even more turned OFF. 

For starters, what kind of men are so pathetically desperate to pose for such a thing to begin with? This is not how we Jews were brought up. We are better than that and we don't sell ourselves short (or cheap). But apparently desperate times calls for desperate measures?

I gotta be honest folks, as much as I wanna marry a great guy whose a mentch, there is something about being a bit on the edgy (dark?) side that I'm attracted to. Yet, the photos of these 'jewish' men, shirtless and perhaps even GULP! nude with Holy objects=utmost disturbing! 

I'm appalled that there are no mass protests against this embarrassment called a calendar! Hopefully that means no one's heard of it and they don't make a lot of sales (other than these boys' moms!). It's sick. I'm so turned off but these nebbish, hairy, pathetic men who would literally strip down for a stupid photo that makes them even more pathetic. And worse-with items such as tefillin? Tzedaka? Siddur? Where are these boys' mothers now huh? Did anyone educate these people?

So no, I take back my original thought about colored glossy. I'll stick to Facebook stalking if I needa see a pic of a guy I'm suggested to. Anything is better than this pathetic attempt of a photographer trying to get men to strip for his own personal interest. 

Forgive me while I leave this post to go vomit. 

I feel like this is my LIFE Motto

Changing the Clocks

Apologies-this post was meant for Motzei Shabbos, when we set our clocks ahead one hour.

I remember clearly, being set up on a Motzei Shabbos, years back, at the same time we were to change our clocks. Unfortunately, I can't remember if it was to set our clocks back or ahead.

All I can remember is being driven home after a most boring date and then sitting in the car with the guy, as he seemed to be in the mood to chat. I, on the other hand, was eyeing my front door through the passenger window-hoping that with some 'staring power' it might automatically blow open, beckoning me to run outta the car and head inside my house. But such was not the case. Instead, almost as a tease, I politely sat in the car with the guy and pretended to listen with interest as he related one of his many stories, this, about his adorable niece and so on and so on. I watched the time on his dashboard, each minute going by so painfully, and then maybe the time in his car changed automatically but it seemed to be the LONGEST DATE EVER. Until finally, it must've been about 2am, and my limit on the amount of yawns, stretches and nods was up.I thanked him and wished him a good night/morning and headed into my house for some sleep.

Now each time there is a clock change, I cringe at the thought of another boring, neverending date.

B"H this past Motzei Shabbos was an 'undated clock change' 

MEN

Trust Issues continued

So remember the previous post with the pic of the supposed chocolate chip cookie-turned-to-be-raisin cookie? Yes it was cute and I appreciated the humor. 

But the reality check is, most shadchans make the boys sound like rich chocolate chips, the ones that ooze chocolate cuz they're half melted on the cookie, when in truth, the boys are mere raisins, they're dried out, full, or 'faking to appear like chocolate but really are NOT. 

Case in point just happened (again) this week. A shadchan had called me early on the week to ask that I send my résumé to her urgently as she had a boy in mind (she have me very brief but detailed info on him). I never heard back from her so I assumed, as always, that when someone take to get back to you it means the guy isn't interested. Then, tonight the shadchan called me...by mistake! She mixed up my number with another girl! When she realized I wasnt that 'other girl' I asked her whatever happened with the guy she asked my résumé for. She told me she already set him up with someone else and she never ended up giving him my info. When I asked further, she said he flew back to Israel. 

Later on this evening, I was speaking to an old roomie of mine, who just so happens to be married to this boy's cousin! When i found out they were related I told her I might need her info on him when he travels back from Israel. She was shocked and half laughing, asked why I thought he was 'back there' when he was in North America! I told her that's what the shadchan told me...guess what=the shadchan had lied!

Raisins!!!