The Japan Song

Crossed Wires

So the other night, my friend was on a date, sitting in the car talking with this guy. Her phone kept vibrating (atleast she remembered to put it on vibrate this time!) and she spoke a bit louder, hoping he wouldn't hear the constant 'buzz' of the vibrating phone in her bag. Eventually, she reached into her bag and pressed the 'end' button.

BUT-what she didn't realized, was that her phone was upside down in her bag, so she had really pressed the 'answer' button.

Yes folks-how much worse could this get?

So the girl trying to reach my friend, said 'hello' but instead of hearing a response, she heard a guy's voice and figured something was obviously going on here and she would continue listening. Of course the caller 'tried' saying hello a few more times, but sat on the phone listening to my friend and her date talking in the car. Eventually, after a couple of minutes, the caller hung up.

It's lucky that the caller is a mutual friend of ours and hung up soon enough, but I can't help and think what I would do in such a situation. Am I a stalker? of course not. Am I curious? isn't everyone curious at some point? Would I be a bit worried, hearing a guy speaking in the background of my friend's answered cell? definitely.

What would you do if you're wires crossed? stay on the line or hang up?

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Recently there has been a swarm of viral videos starring a 'single girl'. For all those of you who know what I'm talkin about-she is GOOD, and I mean REAL good, like fall on the floor, crying your eyes out funny.

I must've watched the few videos numerous times in awe of this girl.

First off-she's single, frum, shidduch-aged.

Secondly-she posted on YouTube=public forum.

Thirdly-she has guts

AND MORE IMPORTANTLY-she doesn't care (or atleast I don't think she does-especially if she posted on youtube!) what other people think, nor is she worried about her shidduchim because of it.

As our Bais Yaakov teacher's would say (and I quote ) "Yiladdos-what can we learn from this?"

Girls just wanna have fun. And why can't we? Just because we haven't yet found our zivug? Just because we our in shidduchim?

People are always worried, i.e. oh! you wanna go biking-I dunno, what would people say about me and tznius? or I'm sorry, I can't come with you-my mom doesn't want me going there-especially being in Shidduchim as she is worried what people will think if I go there', etc.

This girl, tho, she is living her life, having fun-doing a great job at it and look at the reaction of people who viewed this. Are they telling her to take it down? Are they telling her it's not tznius? No, instead, the video(s) has gone viral, been forwarded, more videos have been uploaded and approximately 300 people have subscribed to her! AND she was offered a great job.

Folks-lesson learned today is we can have just as fun as she is. AND, any publicity is good publicity. Some may think it's not proper, some may get a kick out of it, but as long as there are over 100,000 views=that's publicity!

Kudos YouTube actress, you are my true hero!

Am I becoming VERY Visual?

So I'm a member of the various Jewish singles sites. In the past few years since I've signed up, I don't think I've received a 'match' that I've actually went out with. Most weren't at all shayach.

BUT, I've notice a change in the way I view guys.

Since Facebook took the world by storm, since all these dating sites with the 'post pix' options, I've become a very visual person. No, I'm not totally superficial-I've even checked into guys just by reading their description, even without a pic. However, lately with all the matches I'm sent, and all the boys I'm 'redd' to, a photo definitely makes a huge difference.

I mean, in the 'olden' days-or as I like to refer to them as the 'early' days of my dating, every guy I was offered sounded 'a-m-a-z-i-n-g' and then after traveling umpteen hours, it was quite a disappointment. Some were based on looks alone, others were based on personality, frumkeit, etc.

But since I've seen some photos of really cute, nice looking, put together guys through either Facebook, or emailed resumes, or even the dating websites, it really made me expect 'more' in regards to the looks of a future mate. Now that I've seen what I would consider some of the best looking, eligible, frum, 'normal' bachelors, if I'm redd something that doesn't even compete in that level, I just keep backtracking to those pix and thinking-but there are SOME decent looking fellows....

Does that make me wrong? or just a normal frum single?

When Guys DON'T Bring to the Table!

As an 'out-of-town' gal, I am proud in my upbringing and my good manners. When a guy shows up at the door (and don't kill me here) and you can tell immediately, he's not the one for you, I still shut my mouth, smile, act polite and sweat out the 3-4 hour date. I guess that's why I'm always wondering why the guy would want a second date and feel something-cuz I was polite, just not interested-yet still 'pretended to be'.

However, there are some guys out there who just 'don't bring it to the table'. I'm not talking about the drinks here, I'm talking about manners-common courtesy-how to treat a girl. Call it old-fashioned, call it my grandmother's belief-but here I havta agree, men have to act like gentlemen-especially if they are planning on taking out decent girls.

I once had a guy who couldn't find parking, so he called my on my cell to come out and meet him. OK, given the circumstance-it was rush hour, there happened to have been a gas leak on the block and it was full of fire engines, ambulances and emergency vehicles-that is understandable, so I walked out and met him (the only guy not in a uniform!). My other friend had a date a few weeks back where the guy texted her to meet him outside. She couldn't understand why, especially when she saw him sitting in his car, parked in a perfect spot. It was weird-but even weirder was him dropping her off a mere hour or so later! Was she rude, impolite or mean!? No, Huvi was extremely sweet, talkative, continued on and pretended everything was normal, even though she realized this was 'not normal behavior' of a guy taking a girl out. After pulling up infront of her house-he drove off, without even waiting until she got inside.

Heck! I wait outside after dropping my friends off at their homes even if its broad daylight or around the corner. What difference does 2 minutes make? I never used to think it did make a difference, but after going through it myself-it makes a MAJOR difference-it means the guy actually cares to make sure you get home safely. After all, once you leave your home with him-you're safety is in his hands (not literally of course-I'm Shomer!)

So guys-step it up a notch-act polite, be nice, even if you're not interested-we all gotta suck it up for a few hours-why shouldn't you!

Matchmaker Mommies

Before I go on-this is NOT a Purim Prank!

This is a true story about singles trusting their very own mothers to set them up.

Don't get me wrong-I absolutely LUV my mom and wouldn't ask for better, but when it comes to setting up your own kids-I mean, I can't help but think of every guy's mom I know and that just makes me think of the 'well no one is good enough for MY son!' type.

Last week was the first time in years that my mom and I actually agreed on the looks of a guy-ya he was cute, he had sparkling eyes, nice hair and a gorgeous smile-I mean, he was HOT and we both agreed on that, only one small problem, now that we finally agreed on a guy-he happened to be NOT Jewish! Oh well!

But just think-if your mom got to check out the guy first-obviously he would HAVTA be a great catch-whose mother would let them go out with someone they think isn't 'good enough' for their own kid? So, this site definitely has a perk to it. I guess it all depends if you trust your own mother to choose your future mate.

Yeshiva Directory

We've all done our research, asked friends, cousins, brothers, uncles, relatives, Rabbis, trying to find out about different Yeshivos around the world.

Yes-all are YESHIVAS, but there are different strokes for different folks. There is an obvious difference between Ohr Somayach and Yeshivas Brisk. The question is, for someone who is not knowledgeable in the 'ways of men being educated in the Frum system' and all the new Yeshivas popping up each year in Israel, the States and abroad-how can we find out what 'type' they are and what the reputation of that Yeshiva is?

I suggest....(drum roll please) The Yeshiva Directory.

Every so often, I come across some nomadic html website with just txt links of names of yeshivas and rabbis there, but I mean, plain, simple, Yeshiva Name: City: 1-3 words describing what type

Wouldn't it make life so much simpler?

In the Spirit of Purim

Thanks much?

As kids, we are brought up to be polite, say please, thank you, etc. I still remember getting presents that I didn't even want or ask for, yet I rolled my eyes and dragged out the 'THANK YOU' because that is what we were taught to do.

In the past week, I've been fortunate enough to be in a position to 'help out with shidduchim' and be a sorta 'makeshift Shadchan' for some singles. Whilst I sat with papers, profiles, computer databases and sorted through the 'creme de la creme' as the French say and did all the follow up work, I did not ONCE, get a decent 'thanks'.

Do I necessarily need the thank you? nopes.

Is it common courtesy? yes

Does it make you feel appreciated and want to help out more? double yes

which is why I totally get why my parents brought us up to thank people.

a. It tells them we care and feel we appreciate what they have done for us (even, if in shidduchim all it means is a thought, or a phonecall)

b. It makes them feel that they did something for someone else and the thank you makes them feel good enough to want to do it more.

So, not only did the people I helped out NOT even say thanks-they criticized my choices and were very rude-which is even worse than a non-thank you in the first place.

Will that stop me from helping others? no sir-ree, I will not let some rude, ungrateful people stop me, in fact I want to prove (to myself?) that there are lotsa other nice people out there and continue on my same mission.

But just remember-a small little thank you, goes a long LONG way!

Titles-Seriously?!?!

I know I'm obessed with the hit TV series, "Grey's Anatomy" every since it came out. I mean die-hard fan. I got the DVD, the ringtone, watched every episode, cried with them, laughed with them and even dreamed of my own McDreamy one day soon. That's where my title comes in.

For those of you reading this, who aren't in the know, lemme speak my mind and you will understand where my 'seriously?!?!' comes to play.

Everyone has a title, especially when it comes to Shidduchim. A girl has to have a job title, her parents need job titles, it can't be anything plain and simple Heaven forbid, it has to be something fancy, something that sounds very sophisticated and certainly more educated then to write 'secretary'. I think I've seen them all, from friend's shidduch resumes, to people I've redd shidduchim for, etc. They get very creative or have a REALLY good thesaurus.

But today takes the cake! A close friend of mine, Suri, just got a call from a Shadchan who she has been dealing with for a while now. The Shadchan called to tell her that whilst perusing her resume, she noticed that Suri wrote 'secretary' or something similar sounding. The Shadchan asked Suri to please change the resume to state 'office manager' as it sounds better and then send it back to the Shadchan.

I mean-SERIOUSLY?!?!??!